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This past Sunday I was sick and bed-ridden in a Michigan motel. I watched an episode of “Monster Garage” with Jesse James. I was raised on Transformers toys, so it’s fun to watch grown men convert a regular car into a super-vehicle. This time they were making an ’81 Cadillac into a drag-racer. Nice.

Jesse was happy to have his friend help out on the project. He explained that he doesn’t have much time to spend with friends because he’s busy filming “Monster Garage” and running West Coast Choppers. I couldn’t help but think that’s a cool way to stay busy.

I don’t know if you would call it jealousy, but I really do admire Jesse James’s success. His West Coast Choppers name is worth millions in merchandise, and who knows how much he charges for his bikes. It’s just cool to see one guy’s talent spread so far and reach so many people.

Chip Foose and Boyd Coddington are living the same life. They each have a hot rod reality show. They’ve been popular for years amongst hot rod fans, and now the whole world gets to appreciate their work.

Boyd’s in his fifties. Chip’s in his forties. Jesse’s in his thirties. I’m in my twenties.

I don’t think God wants me to open up a hot rod shop. I do believe I could design and build exceptional hot rods and motorcycles. I wrote that with confidence thundering in my chest! I believe that I could be among the best.

But right now I am a web designer, not a hot rod builder. Having said that, I am embarrassed of this very website. I work on websites all day, and the last thing I want to do when I pull into my garage is to get out and design another website. But if I am going to be the very best, I have to start right here.

I spent most of Friday night in the bathroom, either throwing up or with diarrhea. It’s embarrassing to write about, but even more embarrassing to deal with through the night. There was something in my stomach that my body was fighting. I’ve never thrown up with such violence.

So I didn’t sleep much. My alarm went off at five in the morning. I fell out of bed and packed my bags so I could catch my flight to Michigan. Once I got to the airport,; I still was not sure if I was too sick to sit on an airplane all weekend.

This lady in security line in front of me had on a lot of perfume. The smell crawled into my nose and shook my stomach.; She was one step ahead of me for thirty minutes. I got so angry at her. Why the hell does she need that much perfume at six in the morning? I stared through the windows at the road and imagined I was drag racing. All I wanted to do was go back home and sleep.

I felt better on Saturday night after I had a little to eat once I got to Michigan. On Sunday I got hungry and ate because I could. Then this morning (Monday) it all started over again. I nibbled an apple on the hour drive to the airport.

Now I am back in Phoenix, happily in my own house. My room is dark now because the sun has set. I want to get up and do some work, but I know I have to let my body rest or it could get worse again.

This has been a miserable weekend. It was worth it to be able to speak with so many people in Michigan. But it wasn’t fun. It was miserable. I was running at 50%. I can not STAND being held back. That’s why I always convince myself I am healthy, rested, and ready to go out and conquer the world.

But when my body shuts down, I am helpless. So I entertained myself by imagining how much worse it could be. I could’ve been packed into the airplane with chickens and pigs. Instead of sleeping in a hotel, I could’ve been stuck in the middle of the woods with no toilet paper. So right now I am feeling pretty lucky, laying in a plush bed in a house that didn’t burn down last night.;

I don’t like to write about marriage. Actually, I like writing about marriage, I am just not comfortable writing about marriage. It’s for a lot of reasons, but I don’t want to write about that. Maybe I will…

(Marriage is a big deal!)

(Marriage is the end of the bachelor life. Whatever that is.)

(When you mention “marriage”, she starts thinking way ahead. You just can’t throw that word around.)

(Marriage is a BIG change in life. It’s a BIG change in her life.)

(If I write about marriage in my journal, all my family and friends will start asking me if I’ve proposed yet.)

That’s why I will not write a journal about marriage.

My friend Darla led the prayer this morning on our staff conference call. Darla’s my hero because she’s been a youth minister for over twenty years. She’s just a really cool lady. She prayed something that really stuck with me: “God, lead us as we raise up this generation.” It’s all coming together…

I called Dad as I drove off from the studio. After thirty brave years as a teacher and principal, he’s retiring in the fall. He’s happily adopting his new role as a grandfather. I mean, he is ecstatic. He is like a madman.

This is the coffee shop I’d take him to when he and the family came out and visited my first year in Arizona. That was three years ago. They are playing oldies as I type this, and I am imagining when these songs were young. It’s been a long time.

I realize that Dad was not born as Dad. He was a child, a high school student, a young man in the Navy…then a father, and now a grandfather.; Old people were once young; young people will become old.

I keep thinking about this because I have worked with high school students for the past six years. My first group of freshman are now halfway through college. Their life goes on, but each year I face all the high school drama all over again. I have to deal with the media exploiting their hormones, their self-esteem, and their identity. I have to deal with senior guys going after the freshman girls. Drugs. Alcohol. Cutting. Suicide. Everyday.

Every generation has a responsibility to leave the world better than how they found it. It seems like our society is only getting worse. Please stop the violent music! Stop promoting drugs! Stop the pornography!

9:34 AM
Last night on ‘American Chopper’, Pauly and Senior visited a home for retarded children. There was a severely handicapped teenager in a wheel chair proudly wearing his Orange County Chopper T-shirt and hat. His biker father and loving mother stood behind the young man, explaining to the guys from OCC how big of a fan he is.; The parents were thrilled.

The boy was proud to show some small electrical work they do at the home. Compared to the complex choppers that OCC builds, his handwork was nothing. But in his own way, the young man was a chopper builder.

Last night I was laying in my tent thinking about the difference between Pauly and that young man. They both had gifts, some more obvious than others. I felt thankful to have the gifts that I have. I am blessed.

That’s why it is important for people to use their gifts for good. It breaks my heart to know that so many gifts get destroyed by drugs, violence, and selfishness. I know God has given me a lot of gifts, and I try to use them for good every day.

That is exactly why I am so frustrated right now. It’s halfway through the year, and none of my big projects are done. It makes me angry to see so many of my projects thwarted by other people. But I’m not going to whither away pretending I am a victim.

So I need to re-evaluate my plans. I need to step back and figure out how to fix this mess.