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I can’t believe it’s almost August. I didn’t have many goals when I came out here to San Diego for the summer, mostly because I just wanted to relax and explore the beach. But I did expect to get some smaller goals accomplished, and I don’t know if any of that will happen.

I wonder if I am a prisoner of my own ambition. I just don’t want to think that my time and talent is ever going to waste. I want to make a difference. And not a small difference—a big difference. I want the world to notice me.; It’s not fame that I want, because I’ve already been on two TV shows and experienced enough fame. I just want to accomplish more than I ever thought that I could. I want big things to happen because I believed that it could happen, and then I committed to making it happen.

I just read about the new executive at Ford. He is also managing two other major car companies. He spends part of his time in Paris, then some time in Japan, and finally a week in America. He literally circles the globe every month in his private jet. I just can’t imagine how good you have to be to have three huge companies wanting you in one month.

Maybe if I am ambitious enough, I can become more like him. At least that how I think for most of my days. Where’s my new challenge? I will be there. Maybe I’m drinking too much of the American dream of accomplishing anything. Maybe if I were born in a remote village in Asia I wouldn’t be plagued by ambition. I’d be content just existing.

If life is all about ambition, there isn’t much room for anything else. Many times I have seen ambition warp priorities and threaten good things. But one thing I know for sure is that ambition creates restlessness in my heart. Good or bad, it’s always there.

So I am caught in this strange place of desiring greatness, all the while knowing that it could also kill me. Maybe not physically, but ambition could certainly steal an entire life’s worth of attention and affection. And if I am more ambitious than I am wise, I could destroy what I already have going for me.

I was not planning on writing about this. It just kind of exploded out of my finger tips onto this page.

We just got back from a long trip to Corpus Cristi, Texas, for the 50th Anniversary Party for Candyce’s grandparents. It was a crazy adventure, and there’s no way I’ll be able to write about it all. So here’s a random sampling of events.

Attack of the Killer Mosquitoes
Seriously, the first night, the mosquitoes attacked us just seconds after getting out of the car. It wasn’t just a nuisance—it was of Biblical proportion. We were terrified to leave the condo on the morning of day 2. Each night, I slept beneath the covers with all of my clothes on just for some peace of mind.

Discovering Turtle Eggs
Part of the fun of going to the beach is finding some odd critter. If there are three people leaning over looking at something, crowds of people will come over in a matter of seconds. I found a jelly fish and a couple funny crabs. Just as Danny began complaining that he never finds anything, he looks down and sees three turtle eggs. We were all careful not to get too close, because I’ve heard horror stories about humans meddling with nature and killing the turtles before they are even born.

John called the local conservation group, and they scurried to the location. They said this was on of the most rare beaches for turtle eggs, and they were delighted to see them there. Unfortunately, as they dug around to remove the eggs, they discovered it was actually just the fingertips of a thick rubber glove sticking up out of the sand. We all had a laugh.

Driving on the Beach
You can drive on all the beaches in Corpus Cristi because they are so wide. Some restaurants can only be found if you drive along on the sand. All I wanted to do was cut a donut in the Jeep, but I always obligated to be tame when driving someone else’s rental car. One afternoon we went to South Padre Island, which is a remote island that is a state park or something. So the beach is surrounded by nothing but nature. There are no homes, restaurants, gas stations, no electricity. You drive on this narrow road for fifteen miles before you even get to the beach. You could drive for thirty miles down the beach and maybe see a dozen people. I was told that you hit Mexico after just ten miles.

Us guys decided to explore further down the beach in the rental jeep. It was quite an experience. Every few miles there would be some mini-village set up by tourists or fisherman. There was one abandon campground with smoldering fire and a hungry coyote sifting through the leftovers. It was bizarre. But was most crazy was once we packed everyone in and the two cars began the journey back to civilization. That’s when I got pulled over by a cop.

I actually got pulled over on the beach for driving too fast. It was a 15 and I was going 22. The reality is that we were running out of gas and I couldn’t afford to get stuck to the sand, so I gunned it through a fluffy part of the beach. That’s when they clocked me at a roaring 22 miles an hour. Luckily the Arizona license office (or whatever) was backed up and he let me off with a warning.

Reunion Party
The condos we stayed at were much nicer in pictures than in reality. I was trying to figure out when and why the condo was decorated as it was. Then I finally found it when I was flipping through the channels and caught “The Golden Girls.” It was 1980s Miami Beach on a budget. But the 20 years had not been kind. There were weird stains on the ceiling, too many mirrors on the wall, and none of the silverware or bed lenons matched. One condo would have two new candles and the other would have five flower arrangements and two jigsaw puzzles. It was like renters just just left things in the condo with every visit. I felt like you were staying in the home of someone with terrible taste and little desire for home improvement.

This made for a comical background for the 50th Anniversary Party. None of us were there for the vacation—we were there for the family. It was so much fun hearing stories about when Grandma and Grampa first met each other in high school. We flipped through old photo albums, which were surprisingly cool. Grampa bought his first car with money he made as a photographer, so every photo in the album was interesting. It was a heartwarming night.

Fun in San Antonio
Nobody ever told me that San Antonio is a cool place to visit. This was my fourth visit and it was the first time I explored downtown and experienced all the fun. The highlight of downtown is the River Walk, a mini-city one level below the streets along the river. It’s probably just a mile and a half around the circle, but it’s pretty exciting. After about an hour I realized that I was in a tourist trap, but you know, these places draw tourists for a reason—they are fun. For the three days that we stayed in San Antonio, we had a blast exploring the Riverwalk.

There was a Starbucks music store that turned out to be pretty good. There are basically twenty computers set up so you can listen to anything and everything. You can buy a CD and they’ll burn it for you. I know this sounds a lot like a dorky computer cluster at school, but when you throw in the coffee and good friends, it was quite a treat. We stumbled back onto the street two hours later full of caffeine and songs humming in our head. We all agreed it was random place that we never expected to enjoy, but we did.

On the last day in San Antonio we drove to the outskirts to a waterpark called Schlitterbahn. Some magazine voted it the best waterpark in the country, and I was a little skeptical. Every water park I’ve been to has been overclorinated water rides with outrageous lines. But this place actually had a few rides that fed right into the river. So the water was cool, refreshing, and didn’t feel like it’d been peed in for three months.

Back at the Ranch
So now we’re back in California. Just writing about my trip has worn me out all over again. It’s good to be back.

A few weeks ago, I decided to walk home from Mass because I need some time to sort out my thoughts. It wasn’t that big of a deal for me, because the church is maybe three or four miles up the coast from the house. But my spontaneous journey inspired the younger kids so much that they decided we would all walk home from church tonight.

So after we got out of Mass at 6:30 PM, Candyce, Josh (14), Matt (11), Carrie (9) and I made the journey together. Some parts of the hike were crazy: a narrow sidewalk along a busy road. Other parts were more serene: a dusty footpath along the edge of a bluff overlooking the ocean.

The hike was packed with random things that amused us. The first was all the beach seekers parked on the side of the PCH. Everyone was experiencing one of the best days of their life…just hanging out by the beach. We stopped a couple times to use a port-o-potty. We spent a few minutes discussing the hippies that had set up a shelter along the lagoon. A mile later, we admired a castle-like home being built on a cliff overlooking the ocean. The only real break we took was a ten minutes to watch the sun set. Before the sun disappeared, an old man who looked like Santa ran down to go surfing. And the fisherman down on the sand caught a stingray.

;For the last half mile, we walked through a beach-side campground loaded with vacationers. The camp ground was a circus of toys for grown ups: bikes, skateboards, RVs, campers, trucks, jeeps, surfboards, etc. The air was touched with campfire smoke, enough to make you hungry. Every camp spot was an absolute party. I was kind of jealous how carefree these people were compared to the neighborhood where I am staying.

This morning I got up early so I could take a Saturday morning drive down the coast. I hadn’t driven my car in almost two weeks, and honestly, I just missed it. A Honda Element belongs on the coast, and it’s a shame to just have it sitting in the driveway. Since I was locked in an airplane for most of Friday, a Saturday morning drive by the ocean was heavenly.

I had a muffin and coffee at Swamis, and then I explored the Encinitas hillside that faces the ocean. There were so many cute old neighborhoods tucked in between the hilly streets. I can see why the locals really love that town. The best part is the radio was played the best songs from high school all morning. It was a great morning to be alive.

My last stop before I came back home was a quick drive through the neighborhood across the street to see if my friend Jeff had moved in yet. While making the loop, I saw Olympic gold medalist Shawn White hanging out in front of his house with his posse of friends. Ever since I was little, I’ve had a deep admiration for professional skaters or anyone who rode a board. I never would’ve dreamed that as a grown up I’d end up on TV myself (sometimes riding a skateboard) and end up spending a summer on the same coast as the best snowboarder in the world.

We spent the afternoon down at the beach. Normally I sit under an umbrella and sort out my thoughts of how I’m going to conquer the world. But I’m tired of that, so I just play in the cool ocean waves. John came out with the board later in the afternoon and harassed me until I tried to catch a few waves. I caught one for a few seconds.

In the last two hours of daylight,;the girls wanted to run and the guys wanted to ride bikes. So we ventured inland to explore the hills of Carlsbad. The sun was beating down and there was no breeze. It would’ve been miserable if we didn’t have so much fun chatting back and forth. Every one of Candyce’s brothers and sisters is lively and has interesting things to say–even the little kids. When I first met the clan, most of them were very little. I was;like the young uncle that came over and jumped on the trampolene. But now, everyday is exciting because I watch their personalities blossom.

We rode through some beautiful neighborhoods. I used to look at all of the cool beach houses. But I truly feel blessed to be who I am and where I am. I am at peace.

To finish today, Candyce and I went to a romantic Italian restaurant in Carlsbad. It was dark and sexy inside, and the food was great. Over dinner we talked about our concept for a restaurant that we’d like to open up in one of these San Diego beach towns.

Part of me has always loved dreaming with big ideas loaded with details. But for right now, I’m intimidated by my own ideas. I realize the outrageous amount of time every project really requires. A task as simple and straight-forward as checking my email devours an hour of my day.;I can’t imagine how much work it takes to run a restaurant.

Today was one of those days that I dreamed I could have ever since I first came to the Pacific Ocean when I was 18, just out of high school. Back then I was an intern for a magazine, and I was so poor that I had to skip meals in order to pay for gas to get me to the beach itself. Already I can feel this summer at the coast healing me from a very difficult year at work.

Me at LTND

I’ve been traveling all day. I began this morning by driving 120 miles from South Bend, Indiana, to Chicago, Illinois. We stopped along the way to eat some deep-dish pizza to get the full Chicago experience. The ride was pretty cool because we drove right next to downtown Chicago. I love tall buildings. My plane took off and four hours later landed in Phoenix.

On that four hour flight, I decided that it was a waste of time to spend the weekend in Arizona, and that I should just keep going to San Diego. I called the airline as soon as our plane touched down. Before they allowed us to get off the plane, I had already purchased my ticket. The whole thing took maybe three minutes. It was pretty wild.

I sat in the airport waiting for the plane when I realized that there were several things I needed to get from my house in Tempe. Luckily, my plane didn’t begin boarding for an hour or so, so I called Jason and caught him before he left the airport. So I hitched a ride to my house in Jason’s PT Cruiser convertible. It was a perfect evening to have the top down. It was surprisingly cool outside for a summer in Phoenix. Once we got to my house, I had less than ten minutes to unpack and pack before Adam and the gang would show up and take me back to the airport.

Now I’m on the plane for an hour long flight to San Diego. Once I land, I’ll hitch a ride with some friends up to Carlsbad. That means I’ve done six cities in sixteen hours. I started out today next to Lake Michigan, and I’m going to finish just steps from the Pacific Ocean.