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Candyce and I traveled up to the high altitude town of Happy Jack, Arizona, to spend Memorial Day weekend with her grandparents. It was a bizarre change in temperature from Phoenix to Happy Jack. We left when it was 95 degrees in Phoenix. Two-and-a-half hours later, we were at over 6500 ft where it got down into the 30s at night.

I know how bored I get when people talk about the weather, so I’ll just get to the point…

RVs Have No Sex Appeal

Having a cool house and a cool car is awesome (I have both), but putting a house and a car together just isn’t cool. Nothing can save an RV from it’s stigma of middle-American leisure, not even a sticker that reads “If the RV’s a rockin, don’t come knockin.”

But once you buy into the scene, your RV is absolutely cool. I walked around the private RV resort where we stayed, and every RV owner/driver was as confident as a baller who just stepped out of his Chrysler 300 with 24” rims. You could play “Party Like a Rokkstar” and somehow, it would match the collective mood. Sure, it’s more innocent, the partying is about the BBQ with the family by the mosquito zapper, but regardless, these people are having fun even if you don’t like it.

It’s unfair that I walked amongst the RV owners as a cultural chauvenist. Nobody likes an outsider pretending to be your friend just so they can run back to their friends and tell horror stories about your scene. So by noon on the second day, I decided to get over myself and join the fun. And I’m glad I did.

And now, the adventures…

Big Fish

Howard drove me, Candyce, Johnny, and Ali in his Jeep 17 miles into the woods so we could fish at Long Lake. Although my family owned a baitshop as a kid, I’ve only been fishing a half-dozen times. I used to pull those worms out of the ground during the summer to make money. I knew their fate, but I didn’t mind because I could buy Matchbox cars with my earnings.

I stood by the lakeside and saw the death of a worms not unlike those I plucked from the earth. I cringed as I stabbed, wrapped, and stabbed that poor worm until it was a dripping knot of death. Sorry dude, but we gotta catch some fish.

Candyce is a wuss, so she manipulated me to mutilate her worms. She’s crafty: “Does this worm look secure enough to you? Do you think I should add another worm?” Of course it wasn’t secure, you just draped the worm over the hook like you would a bath towel over the shower curtain rod. And yes you need to add another worm because all that’s left of the previous worm looked like a bead. I dug out a worm, lifted it to her hook, she turned her head. More stabbing.

After 6 hours of nothing, we decided to admit defeat and drive back to civilization. I was carrying the cooler and two chairs towards the Jeep when Candyce started screaming about catching a fish. Howard ran back down the hill and helped her pull out a 14 inch rainbow trout. We all celebrated and asked how she did it. We dutifully followed instructions and cast our hooks back into the water.

Two hours later, we packed up and went home. Eight hours, four fishing poles, one fish.

The dirty fish flops, scaring Candyce (looking like a dinosaur), scaring me (looking like a child), and making manly Johnny look manly.

That night we watched Butch Cassidy and the Sun Dance Kid and ate lemon pepper trout. This was a funny scene because I was actually sitting in a camp chair inside the RV. We were in the high mountains of Arizona watching a movie about the Wild West.

Once the trout was gone and the movie was finished, Candyce and I drove back to our site, turned off the engine and fell asleep. We didn’t even get out of the car.

Sleeping in the Element

Candyce and I slept in a campground not far from their RV in my Honda Element. Honda designed the Element so you could lay down all four of the seats to become one continuous soft bed from the dashboard back to the tailgate. (It’s actually kind of cool—the sun roof on the Element is in the back so you can recline and look up at the stars.)

Once we laid some blankets in some of the low parts of the flattened seats, the bed was actually pretty comfortable. It was so cold outside that we had two layers of sleeping bags on top of us.

As we were about to fall asleep a bright spotlight lit up the inside of the Element and freaked us out. I imagined some back-woods lumberjack had found us and was ready to steal away my hot wife. It ends up it was just the headlights of a car driving through the campground. I never experienced this before because I’d always slept in tents without glass windows. We laughed it off. But the thought of getting kidnapped in the middle of the night was enough to make me click the doors shut and engage the car alarm. Chirp chirp.

The alarm kept crazy lumberjacks out of the Element, but it also kept us in. Candyce tried to get out in the middle of the night and the car honked and screamed and blinked. It was the most frightening alarm clock I’d ever waken up to. I scrambled to find the clicker in the layers of blankets and sleeping bags. Once the panic was over, we laughed and fell back asleep.

When morning came, I slid forward and dropped my feet onto the brake pedal and the clutch. I popped my seat back upright and cranked the car. I drove over to G-parent’s RV and parked before Candyce had even waken up in the back. Her first seconds of the day were her grandparents standing on the steps to the RV with big smiles and good morning waves.

It was a bizarre but fun way to spend a night.

The two of us eating breakfast in the RV the next morning.

Boys Like Toys with Wheels

We sat in a cozy local restaurant to have lunch at the only intersection in Happy Jack, AZ. In the winter, this restaurant had to be a warm haven from the mountains of snow outside. In the corner was a wood stove. The walls were covered with fake wood-panel walls (probably back in the early 1980s). The simple menu with way too many “things” placed in “quotes.” As gaudy is it was, I loved every detail of the place. It reminded me of being back home in the mountains of Georgia.

While we waited for our food, I looked out the window at the 100s of dudes driving their toys to the gas station to fill up before they ventured out to set up camp. I’ve never seen more four-door trucks in my life. I’m not kidding you, at one point there were 8 quad-cab trucks hauling a boat or a fifth wheel, all lined up waiting to take a left into the gas station. The trailers were loaded with every wheeled-vehicle imaginable: off road golf carts, ATVs, off-road scooters, bicycles, dirt bikes, and even rugged baby strollers.

One guy really got me. He drove a dually quad-cab truck that pulled a fifth wheel camper. Behind that camper was a second trailer that carried an off-road golf cart. That’s 16 wheels driven by one man. It was a snapshot of man’s fascination with it’s own invention: the magnificent wheel. And every wheeled-vehicle was yet another possibility to explore the earth beneath them.

I predicted in a previous journal that the Chrysler 300C (with the Hemi) had a good chance of being a collector’s car 20 years down the road. Since then, a few things have happened that is making that prediction more probable.

After four years, people still like the 300. You would think people would move their affection to some other car, but no. The 300 is more popular now than it was it’s debut year. Somehow word got out that it’s a cool car for cool guys. Guys who would normally buy a sporty car or an SUV realize that they can look cool and still be reasonable about the daily use of a family vehicle. It’s a dream come true.

The customs keep coming. Every year since the car was introduced, every guy who owns a custom car shop uses the 300 as his show car to flaunt his design skills. And it’s a rare car that can actually take some customizing and not look ridiculous.

The stock Chrysler 300, photo from 2003, compared to 300C customized by Dub Industries (and Photoshop.)

The stretched 300. Just recently Chrysler announced that they were making a long-wheel base 300. Lincolns and Cadillacs typically have made sedans that are slightly stretched so they can be used by limo services for patrons who want room but don’t want to ride in an outrageous stretched limo like a bunch of prom kids. Whenever I rode with celebs in NY, they always rode in stretched sedans. Many limo services already use the 300 to tote around the rich and famous. This says something about the universal appeal of the 300 because you can buy one for under $25,000—hardly an elite price tag.

Livin’ large.

Barack Obama drives a 300. He is fighting to become the Democratic candidate for the White House in 2008. Obama is uber popular because he’s charismatic and has style. It seems like the last president with that combo was JFK, who made the 4-door Lincoln Continental famous. (Unfortunately, it was also the car he was assassinated in.)

Rumors of spin offs. I don’t know if this has ever happened in the history of American automobiles: a 4-door sedan is so popular that they might make a 2-door or a convertible.

2-door Chysler 300 Concept from www.cwwcardesign

Aftermarket modifications from WestCoastCustoms.com

Chysler 300 4-door hardtop with suicide doors, from www.cwwcardesign

Ford wants to make a 300 too: The Interceptor. I gotta admit, this is a pretty badass car. This has “mob boss” written all over it. But as today, this is just a concept car. And almost every concept car looks cool and futuristic. By the time it gets to production, it’s edgy beauty always gets dulled down for the masses. If the production car looks this good, then the Interceptor will be the new 300. And that’s not bad, is it? Maybe it’ll be a new type of rivalry, like muscle cars in the late 1960s.

Gang. Sterrr.

Chrysler has another car up it’s sleeve, but I’m not convinced yet. The Chrysler Imperial Concept has that big sheet metal look of a Bently or a Maybach, but I’m not sure it does it as well as the big dogs. Like the Intercptor concept, I’ll have to make a call when it’s made.

Sunday night I gave the baccalaureate speech for Mountain View High School in NE Mesa. It was an honor to give the keynote in front of the proud graduates in the caps and gowns. Half-way through my talk, I explained the importance of using your life to lift others up. That we aren’t made to take everything in this world for ourselves we were made for more. I explained that this world needs more players like Steve Nash. Someone who makes everyone else around them better. Every head started to nod in the church walls.

:::

The Suns got knocked out of the NBA playoffs. It’s been melancholy around town, and I haven’t been in the mood to write about it. Candyce and I were downtown at Stoudemire’s restaurant to watch Game 5 at home against the Spurs. We were without Diaw and Stoudemire because of an unjust rule in the NBA that killed us in the closing seconds of Game 4 in San Antonio. We won that game, but we were punished in the series.

Stoudemire’s restaurant was proud and rowdy. Even the kitchen crew came out into the restaurant to watch the final quarter of the game. The place was a happy riot until the final minutes of the game. The Suns came up a few points short in the final minute, and we lost the game. Slowly, the crowd emptied into the streets. Nobody spoke. Everyone just walked to their cars, stunned by the reality of our bad fortune.

On our walk to the packed streets past the stadium and to our car, I was encouraged by dozens of fans I didn’t know. “We’ll see you back Sunday night…we’ll get ‘em back here in Phoenix.” There were 25,000 friends walking those streets. How fantastic is that? Sports break down a cities walls so that absolute strangers are able to encourage one another and show compassion.

By the time Candyce and I got to our car, I was overwhelmed with by how much the team fought in that game. They were undermanned, but they fought with every fiber of their bodies. They left it all on the floor, and few people in this world really know what that’s like. Even though I was discouraged, sitting in my car beneath that humming street lamp, I had such a profound respect for the tigers that are the Phoenix Suns. Victory or not, they were tigers.

:::

Earlier this season (sometime after the All-star break?), ESPN ranked people throughout the NBA according to different statistics. Steve Nash was ranked number one in fist bumps: putting his fist out to his teammates as a sign of encouragement on the court. He gave the other people high-fives, encouraging words, whatever was he showed connection with the other players on the team. This is important because players have feelings too. Teams have spirit, a collective self-esteem between all the players and coaches. You need a team leader who can contribute to that spirit and to make that team better. You’ll never see Steve Nash angry at his teammates. He never shouts at his guys on the court, even if they miss an easy shot.

I’ll never forget a situation earlier this season when Raja Bell shot an air ball from behind the three point line. This is rare because this is where Bell hits most of his shots, but this season he’s been off. Steve Nash understands that he has to build up Raja Bell’s confidence, just like all of us understand one another need a boost of confidence. So after Raja Bell missed a three pointer, Steve Nash scrambled for the rebound and dished it back out to Bell, still standing at the three-point arch. Of course Bell drains the three, team runs back to the other side of the court and high-fives fly. How many people would offer someone redemption like that?

This season I got to see this up close. I had good seats, maybe 20 rows up from the court behind the scorer’s table. I watched two of the Indiana Pacers bench players walk up to the table and got ready to check into the game. They both slowed down caused stepped over something and then stood patiently at the sideline until they could go in. I wouldn’t have noticed this as anything eventful, but a few seconds later, Steve Nash stepped up to the table. He reached down and picked up a piece of paper and handed it to guys behind the table.  How awesome is that? Those guys thought they were too big too cool and too important to do something as silly as picking up a piece of paper. But apparently the leagues 2-time MVP isn’t too important.

There’s no doubt Nash will leave a legacy in the NBA. He’s still writing that legacy every time he bounces the ball on the court. So nobody knows for sure how his story will be told. But it is undeniable that he possesses a certain magic that take the game to the next level. Anyone with eyes to see knows that he leads a team unlike any team of this generation.

Next season, we’ll see this team do it again.

In the month since I’ve been married, every day has been disorienting. The normal habits and routines of life are uprooted and tossed over the wall. What’s left a new life, a clear piece of earth ready for a garden to be planted.

The most obvious difference is that there is a woman living in my house. I could go on for pages about how this has changed, but I don’t have the energy for that. (Actually, it’s because I haven’t figured out how to live with the mythical creation that is female.)

I have so much fun being at home now. This house isn’t just where I hang my hat and watch a sports game on TV. It’s becoming a more hospitable, comfortable home. I’ve done two random things this week that I haven’t done since I’ve been living on my own. I had trouble sleeping, so I got up and made something to eat. This is new because I’ve never had that much food in the fridge. The second thing is that I also got up from bed and went downstairs and watched TV. I would do this all the time in high school, but since I’ve been on my own, I’ve never done this. I guess it’s that my house is comfortable to live in again, so I’m finding my way back to simple rituals from my childhood.

Work is not as fun. Yeah, it’s good to be creative throughout the day, but as the afternoon passes by, all I can think of is how I can’t wait to get home to hang out with Candyce again. Spending time with her was always the highlight of my week. Now I get that every night and weekend.

We went to Costco and bought groceries yesterday. That was good because food is cheaper there, and I felt like we got more to eat than if we’d shopped anywhere else. But at the same time, it was a little boring standing there at the checkout, watching dozens of items slide across the scanner. This 5-minute ritual is as ordinary as life can get. I’m happy to live in a country where the economy is stable enough for the stores to stay stocked with fresh food. But that doesn’t make going “grocery shopping” exciting. It’s something you have to do, so you just do it.

Candyce graduated college on Friday morning. I am proud of her for sticking through six years of such intense work. She’s stuck through it, and now she deserves her life back.

We set up her design exhibit downtown on Thursday evening, a few days ago. It was exciting to see all of the massive amount of work from the other students. Once it was looking pretty, we walked over to Marjerle’s to watch the Suns game. It was a great night to be downtown.

Friday’s graduation ceremony was at the Frank Lloyd Wright-designed Grady Gammage auditorium in Tempe. I’ve been to a concert there before, with front row tickets. I saw musical a long time ago, and the seats were tucked in the back of the lower level. But this was the first time I was on the upperdeck, and I was scared the whole time. It was just too high off the ground. I felt like I was on a cloud, or looking down from heaven down onto the wood stage beneath me. I just wanted to get out of there before someone slipped and flopped over the railing to their death. When Candyce crossed the stage, I cheered like a true redneck and then left to go to the bathroom where it was less dangerous.

We went out for lunch to celebrate the victory. There were at least 3 tables where friends and family crowded around their graduate. It was like a piece of Americana.

Yesterday was Johnny and Ali’s engagement party over at the Philips’s house. We watched the Suns / Spurs game, which was fun even though we lost. Then this morning (Sunday) we went to Mass early, then the whole clan came over to our house for a Mother’s day brunch. This was the most organized, pleasant meal I’ve ever had in my house. It was like Candyce and I were real grown ups. Gramma and Grampa even came over. Now that I think about it, this whole year has been about parties: the New Year, selling my house, every Suns game, engagement parties, bachelor party, wedding, honeymoon party, and now the graduation parties.

I can’t explain how glad I am that Candyce is done with college. Her professors will no longer rule her life. It’s just the two of us now.