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It’s been an exciting summer here in San Diego, but it’s time to go back to Phoenix and pick up life where I left off. Here are some random highlights from the summer, in no particular order:

Escalade School Bus. When I was a kid, I saw a customized, hot rod school bus on the cover of a magazine at the Ingles grocery store in western North Carolina. It was so cool and so outrageous that it made my young mind spin for weeks. This summer, I found this image online, and I got that same rush. I can’t explain it.

I’d buy it.

Kayaking in La Jolla. Candyce, Lauryn, Danny, and I went to La Jolla to rent some two-person kayaks to explore the caves in the cliffs of La Jolla. We were paddling along where the waves wash against the foot of the cliff when stumbled across a huge rock covered with seals. You would think that you would see something like that coming, but I was so caught up in the colorful fish that were swimming around the rocks beneath us.

We backed off the seal rock and watched it like a live performance of Discovery’s Planet Earth. Although I couldn’t figure out why, a male seal was really mad, and he barked and moaned like he was insane. He was just not happy with what was going down. I would think that it was us causing all the ruckus, but he was cool for the first 10 minutes. I couldn’t believe how loud that bull was. It echoed around the cliffs and bounced back on top of us. Maybe he’s just proud of his voice.

Invitation to Write for Suns.com. Near the end of July, I got a phone call from the VP of Interactive Services for the Phoenix Suns. He invited me to join their team of writers by keeping a blog on their website. I already write about the Suns here on supafly.com, but I like the professional challenge of writing for a wider audience.

Boris Diaw in Ratatouille? Speaking of the Suns, I swear they modeled the French chef after French basketball player, Boris Diaw. You decide:

Boris Diaw the basketball player, the animated chef.

Watching Transformers, Twice. I loved Transformers as a kid, even though we were only able to afford a couple of the toys. I got my fix from watching the Transformers cartoon after school. I can honestly say, there was nothing that got me more excited as a child than catching a full episode of Transformers with a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips. It was sensory overload.

The problem with my childhood experience of Transformers was that they never stepped into reality. The toys were always more simple than the cartoon characters they were modeled after. They always took forever to transform, so it was hard to play with them with the same action and intensity as the cartoon. I always wondered if in the future my car would ever transform into a robot and by my friend and soldier. I doubt this will ever happen.

But watching real cars and trucks transform into robots in a movie was exhilarating for me. It was a childhood fantasy that was alone in my head, now exploded onto the movie screen. I enjoyed it so much that I went back and watched it again. I’ll definitely add it to my DVD collection (Napoleon Dynamite, The Passion, The Shawshank Redemption, and Almost Famous.)

I also enjoyed seeing new American muscle cars battle it out.

Bumble Bee the Camaro and Barricade the Mustang.

Kanye West’s new song: Stronger. I can’t stop listening to this track!

Getting off Work, Going to the Beach. Nothing beats getting off work and then going to the beach for two hours. One notable accomplishment for me is simplifying my walks across the street and onto the sand. I now just go in my swimming trunks. I leave behind the chair, books, magazines, sketch pad, towel, umbrella, chair, and bottles of water. I just bring my keys to the house. It’s like having a pool in your backyard, except it’s 200 yards away.

Married at the Beach. Spending a summer out here with Candyce was cool when we were dating, but being married adds intensity and romance to the summer that is unique to newly weds. We make dinner together and eat it outside by candlelight. We go out every other day for a jog (Candyce) and for a bike ride (me) and explore the beach towns north and south of us.

Escondido Car Show. We went to a Saturday night car show in Escondido on Grande Avenue. I caught a glimpse of this custom Chrysler 300 rolling down the street.

The first thing you notice is the suicide doors up front. There are no doors in the rear because they were welded and filled.

Although the imagery is goolish and not my style, I love that it’s outrageous and unlike anything else I’ve seen.

Illustrating a Video Game. I’ve designed a lot of things, but this summer was my first time illustrating a Flash video game for lifeteen.com: Vatican Ninja vs. Pirates. There’s something magical about making a video game because you can take an outrageous concept and make it a reality. The idea behind the video game becomes more legitimate and matter-of-fact once it culminates into a fun, interactive experience. I don’t believe video games can teach morality, because in the end, people will only play it if it’s fun. Once they’re finished having fun, they’ll be done with it. Playing a game is a shallow experience and you can’t take them too serious. But games on our site could be fun to raise awareness for our summer camps and teach a little bit about the regional geography that tells the story. That’s the next game.

Not Remodeling My House. I know that as soon as I get back in Phoenix, I’m going to dive into a quick and intense remodel of the main level of my home. I’ve spent a lot of the summer planning, sketching, and finding materials for the project. Jeff and I have sat down a couple times to re-think the floor plan. The anticipation is boiling inside of me. It’ll be good to be back.

This year was the second full summer I’ve lived at the beach in Southern California. I’ve seen the full, unedited reality of “a day at the beach.” I know that each person at the beach goes home and tells about their magical day at the beach, but they’ll never tell the whole story.

Maybe it’s because other people don’t care to listen about the reality of a day at the beach, so giving the edited version of the story is not for bragging rights, but out of consideration for your listener. Regardless of why we don’t tell the whole story about the day at the beach, the reality is that none of us tell about reality.

Here’s a random list of what gets edited out of everyone’s story:

1. Parking sucks. You can spend an hour just getting in and out of the beach.

2. The morning after the party. When you are leveling out the sand to make way for your beach towel, you end up unearthing a fossil of last night’s ocean-side party: cigarette butts, bottles, random trash, and unmentionables. You feel dirty.

3. Bugs. Dry seaweed attracts fleas, and they hop all over you. It’s hard to look relaxed and beautiful when you’re swatting at invisible bugs on your legs.

4. The ocean is salty. If you are frolicking in the water and open you mouth for a 1/2 second, you swallow a quart of salt. If you spend an hour at the beach, you’ll see three people hunkered over and gagging. Gagging is not sexy.

5. There were other people there. Everybody loves the beach, so you’re likely to see quite a variety of locals trying to enjoy a perfect day as well. Everyone is invited to the party regardless of how good they look in a bathing suit. Whenever you hear the story, “…man there were these hot girls there that we were talking to…” know that they’re omitting the part about seeing women twice their age trying to be hot. Which is not hot.

6. This is not Bay Watch. We all know that Bay Watch wasn’t real, but you want to believe it draws from some reality. It does not. Lifeguards are not always sexy, and even if they’re good looking, there’s no chance of them flirting back. There are 100s of tourists bobbing in the water, only inches away from a rip tide or menacing creature beneath. Nobody gets saved from death if the tan folks on the tower are taking down your phone number.

7. Creatures Beneath. Okay, maybe you do have a chance of making a connection with a lifeguard. Jellyfish or stingrays can ruin an entire day at the beach because they hurt you. When I walk into the water, I don’t take steps anymore, I slide and shuffle my feet along the bottom. I’m told that I will only “bump” a stingray this way, and they’ll scoot out of my path. But if you take big monster steps and put your heal on their head, then you’ll get whipped with a razor blade. You’ll come limping out of the water with a leash of blood behind you. Women will scream and the lifeguard will drop out of the tower and sprint to your side. This is your only chance to become a player on the stage of Bay Watch and it’s not a pretty scene.

8. Surfers who can’t surf. I’m convinced that guys who “surf” are not much different than guys who “play golf.” Both groups like to dress and talk the part–it’s the lifestyle they are quick to adopt. Because they play the part so well, these guys can convince you at the bar that they are the best surfer or golfer in Southern California. But once they’re in the element and expected to catch a wave or drive the ball 300 yards into the fairway, very few come close. You’ll see a salty, tan surf dude skip down the stairs with a surfboard under his arm, but once he’s in the water, he’s as loosy goosy and clumsy as a Great Dane.There’s something else people don’t tell you about surfing: you have to share the waves. Because there are no secret waves in California anymore, a dozen other guys are eying the same wave.; Half of all surfers are very new to the sport, and they have no idea what they are doing. That’s okay, because we all have to start somewhere, but the collision of a rookie surfer and a salty pro is not a pretty scene. Everyday, somebody gets taken out by a stranger. It’s a zoo out there.

9. Jogging on the beach. This probably the most often told tale of the beach, “…it’s great. After work, I take a run and down the beach to clear my thoughts. I catch the sunset…” Let’s tell the full story of this magical jog on the beach. There are two types of sand at the beach: wet sand and dry sand. The dry sand is fluffy and usually claimed by people with beach towels, which is okay for the joggers, because it’s too unstable to run on. You might sprain an ankle.It’s wise to run on the water-packed sand closer to the water. Unfortunately, this is also where children make sand castles, complete with broken sticks forced into the sand to become gates and bridges. They dig big holes for miniature lakes and carve out trenches to serve as motes. You have to hop over these land mines or run around them. You never see this scene on television. You’ll also hop over clumps of seaweed, massive clumps that looked like dead animals. Another reality of the beach jog is the never-ending fear of getting T-boned by a crashing wave. It’s impossible to keep a respectable, athletic pace when you’re constantly two-stepping inland to avoid a rush of water.;Other clumsy realities of running on the beach is more sweat (from deeper humidity) and an occasional hit by a frisbee or football.

I’m okay with this unedited version of the beach. I’m amused by all the commotion, the collision of lifestyles and expectations. And somehow, nothing can deter the mob from traveling to the beach each day. Nothing can discourage a millionaire from buying a home next to this mob. Real or not, we love the story of being at the beach.

We all have dreams, and we all like to talk about them. Unfortunately, none of us like to listen when someone else talks about their dreams. If you didn’t know this already, as soon as you start talking about your dream, people will stop paying attention. They may be nodding their head, but they’re counting the seconds when you go back to talking about something that makes sense.

Why can’t we help but talk about our dreams? It could be that we understand that if you don’t articulate your dream, last night’s adventure will evaporate by the end of your first cup of coffee. This is an urgent matter. Plus, you may still have some emotion left over from the dream, and the only way you know to deal with it is to talk about it. Still, this doesn’t mean people want to hear about your dreams.

People tell others about their dreams because a rare moment where we can be outrageous without having to pay the consequences. Dreamland is a place where they can do and say things that don’t have to align with their daytime ideals. You can get in a fistfight with Michael Bolton in a dream, even if by day you are a big fan. But in reality, dreams are rarely interesting at all, and it’s all because of poor delivery.

Here’s some general rules I apply to my dream-telling:

1. Don’t expect a captive audience. You need to be okay with the fact that nobody will listen to your story from the beginning to the end.
2. It’s considerate to tell someone about your dream while they’re doing something else, like cleaning their kitchen. Never tell a “last night I had this dream…” story while out to lunch.
3. Never talk about your dream for more than 3 minutes. If you go on any longer than that, you have a good chance of being told to “shut up.” Or “shut the hell up.”
4. If you think your dream is entertaining, practice your story with a compassionate friend before you present it to a more discriminating crowd. A dream can’t be amusing to someone while you’re still trying to put together the pieces.

If you are telling your dream story because you hope to delight someone by giving them something interesting to think about, try to get to the facts. Here’s three examples:

This is Bad

If you are confused by the details, don’t expect someone to be able to follow your story. There’s no hope of a punchline. Try to suffer through reading this:

I had a dream I went back to Young Harris College to teach a class. Or was it a summer camp? I don’t know. All I remember was standing in front of the cafeteria, and there were all these people… They were wearing these dumb things and they were okay about it. I can’t remember what they were doing, but it was weird. Then I talked to my old professor. Have I ever told you about him? He was nice in the dream but didn’t look like who he is in real life… Somewhere in the dream I took a bus and ended up at a neighborhood that looked like that one in the magazine from yesterday, the boxy houses that look like they are made out of metal and glass. Accept it was in the mountains… I was playing basketball but I don’t remember actually shooting the ball. Then one of the guys from the Phoenix Suns came out…

(I’ll just stop there. I’m bored writing about it, and you are bored reading it.)

This is Good

You get to the point. You cut out a lot of the unnecessary pieces, although some still need to go.

I had a dream I was back at Young Harris college in the mountains of Georgia. I ran into the students I went to school with, except a lot of them had on silly hats. It was fun. I talked to old professors and eventually took a bus to a cool looking neighborhood. I toured a house and I really liked it. The next thing I can remember I was playing basketball and all the Suns players were on the court. I think they were playing the Dallas Mavericks, except none of the players on their team looked like they were supposed to.

This is Great

You only hit the most important points. Your matter-of-fact delivery makes the it seem like you are telling a real-life story, which makes the scenes in the dream more outrageous.

I had a dream I ended back up in Young Harris College in the mountains of Georgia. I found a beautiful neighborhood of modern homes in a hidden valley not far from campus. The community basketball court was the practice court for the Phoenix Suns. I sat down on a tree stump with my dad and watched the Suns play the Mavericks. Except Dirk Nowitzki was black.

Don’t say anymore. Leave it that and move onto a new subject.

Summary: I’m Serious

I didn’t write this because I have too much time on my hands. On the contrary, I have very little time, and I have to publish this and get the word out to people. I’m tired of hearing bad dream stories. I’m a friendly person, but I have my limits. If I hear one more bad dream story, I’m going to start hitting people.

(I understand it is unlikely that the word will get out fast enough. So I have tip for listeners out there. If you’re stuck listening to someone’s dream story and you are utterly bored, one way I keep myself entertained by losing track of the story and then react to their story like they are telling a real life story. This is funny only if you are subtle and act truly confused.)

I’ve spent a lot of time high school and college-aged students ever since I graduated college myself. It’s a part of my job. One thing I’ve noticed is how eager students are to get out of college and start making money.

This is normal for students and there’s nothing wrong with it. College kids are burdened with debt and they want to start fixing that problem. For others, they’re just tired of being educated and they are ready to apply what they’ve learned. “Making money” is a reward of sticking through 12 years of school, and then 4+ four years of college. You want some sort of reward for sticking to the system.

One conversation I often have with teenagers is when they are trying to pick one of two options for their future. Their first option could be anything: having a family, joining the Peace Corp, traveling, working for a non-profit, or becoming a youth minister. The second option is always, “…or go out and make a lot of money.”

I’ve never tried to pick apart these options whenever I’m talking to someone. Most of the time, they are trying to sort out two very different worlds so they can figure out where they want to go. They are overwhelmed by the future and they’re talking to me because they hope I can help.

They just don’t choose the words “getting a job” but instead describe that option as “making a lot of money.” Maybe in contrast to the first list of options, getting a job out in the real world does seem like making a lot of money.

Now that I’ve been in the “work force” for six years, I wonder if I’ve failed those young people who asked me for advice. Maybe I should have confronted the presumption of “making a lot of money.” Getting a high-paying job is not as easy as wanting a high paying job.

Reality Check: How to Make Money

So that is one conversation I have with young people–good hearted students trying to sort out their future. The other group of young people have this same conversation about career and future, except their words are laced with an intense desire for money, and an outrageous confidence that money is coming their way. They look forward to college graduation when they can finally escape the drudgeries of their unglamorous student life. They will soon cross into the world of the elite and privileged. Standing on a college campus, these people are almost always believable. You don’t know how to respond other than to believe that one day they will in fact make money.

The older I get, the more I can wrap reality around people like this. Unfortunately for them, it is rare that your desire for money has any correlation to your ability to make money. If desire for money was all it took to make money, then we’d all be rich. Since we all aren’t rich, there has to be something in between desire for success and achieving success. Since I’m a designer, I have to add a diagram here for drama:

Desire for success –?– > Success

Something has to take you from desire to the reality of success. Again, I pass thousands of working adults every day who were in college once too, and every one of us would like to work and make a lot of money. Of those people who do earn a lot of money, I’ve found key attributes amongst them. In the professional world, you get paid according to:

1. How talented you are
2. How qualified you are for the job
3. How hard you work.

Getting qualified for a job requires hard work and dedication. And talent requires hard work to make it worth anything to an employer. Few people will be paid for being talented and lazy. So it’s clear that success is only possible with hard work. If you want to have a good job at Apple, then you are going to have to work hard. If you want a good job as a rock star, you have to work hard. It doesn’t happen any other way.

You would think people would inherently understand what it takes to make money, but they don’t. The arrogant people who assume a big salary is coming their way are always found in the crowd that believes, “It doesn’t matter what degree you get, companies just want you to have a degree.”

It is true that there are companies out there that do not require a specific degree for you to get a job there, but these are almost always pay less than jobs that do require a specific degree. You are foolish if you try to beat the system by getting a degree in Recreation and expect to get paid the same amount as a student studying Chemical Engineering.

To be clear, not all hard working people get rewarded equally. I watch migrant workers storm through the neighborhood twice a week with rakes, hedge clippers, and leaf blowers, and I know they don’t get paid $95,000 a year. But, you will have a hard time finding someone who is paid $95,000 a year who does not work hard.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous Foolish and Delusional

You don’t just find these wealth-lust people on college campuses. In the few years of my life after “The Real World,” I met thousands of people who wanted to be my friend because they were big fans of fortune, fame, and the celebrity life. These people believed that I had arrived at the success they were looking for.

They also thought that we had a lot in common because I was once just like them, someone who was anxiously waiting for their big break and the good life. And since we had that in common, I would share the spoils with them. Like somehow I would instruct one of the girls talking to me to go and fool around with that dude in the corner. I’m not kidding you, 1 out of ever 10 “new friends” I made thought like this. I can see clearly that these people were just greedy fools. Why would you believe that a greedy fool just like you would share anything with anyone?

How great is the divide between desire and reality! Consider the hordes of people who are delusional about their futures of glamour:

1. They want to be doctors, but they don’t like science class.
2. They want to be rock stars, but they can’t play an instrument or sing.
3. They want to be movie stars, but they have no interest in acting.
4. They want to be professional athletes, but they don’t work out.
5. They want to be celebrities, but all they do is wear big sunglasses and look at celebrity magazines.
6. They want to be a video game designer, but they’ve never tried to design a video game.

You have to make a path between desire for something and making that something a reality.

Life is the Greatest Teacher

I don’t think that I’ve ever screwed up a young person’s life by failing to confront their assumption that they would be able to make a lot of money. The fact that they are considering a life that is not consumed by money means that they have a good chance of living a balanced, rewarding lifestyle. I wouldn’t be writing about the subject of “desiring money” if this were the only time I encounter this topic in my daily life.

But the reality is that every recent generation is saturated with young people who have outrageous expectations for the future, yet never stop to consider the hard work it takes to get there. I genuinely care about people, and I want to see their life work out well. I’m truly frustrated by the delusions of grandeur that could make it harder for an impressionable young person to make the best decision. Then again, I doubt if this journal will really make a difference or bring clarity to anyone. If you aren’t looking for wisdom, you aren’t going to find it. If not, life will be your greatest teacher.

Mayor Cory Booker announces $50,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of the schoolyard shootings.

I was devastated this morning to read this story about murders over the weekend in Newark, New Jersey:

“Three college-bound kids were killed after being forced to kneel against a wall and then shot in the head at close range Saturday night, police said.” Read the full story

It’s hard to be sincere and compassionate about every murder story that on the news, mostly because murders have become so common. The media exploits murders as cheap content; rarely do they take responsibility and try to reveal the social climate that allows for these crimes. They just tell you it happened, and then go on to the day on Wall Street.

But this story hit me hard, because I have great hopes for the city of Newark because of their ambitious new mayor, Cory Booker. He seems like a good man who is truly trying to undo the misery of the people of his city.

I first learned about Cory Booker through a documentary on HBO called Street Fight late one night at a hotel somewhere in the Midwest. (I forget which state I was in, but I was cold the whole night in the hotel, and the next morning I flew out of the Minneapolis / St. Paul airport.)

This documentary was about the 2002 mayoral race in the city of Newark. The young Cory Booker was trying to replace Sharpe James, the incumbent mayor of Newark, New Jersey. The documentary was fascinating and compelling. It portrayed Booker as an idealist with hope, and his opponent James as a dead-beat politician who exploited his office and ignored his people. This was the stuff of a real Hollywood story.

Unfortunately, the documentary closed with Booker losing the 2002 election. Life got busy and I forgot about the story. That was until late last year when I saw Cory Booker’s face in the the papers after he was finally elected the mayor of Newark. It looks like the previous mayor’s corruption revealed in the documentary could be true. A few weeks ago this headline:
Former Newark mayor Sharpe James indicted on federal charges

Cory Booker’s Lecture at the New School

When I was back in Georgia last month, it was difficult for me to fall asleep because I was on Pacific time. For every night of my visit, I had three or four hours to myself after Mom and Dad had gone to sleep. I spent a most of that time praying and preparing the sessions I had to give at summer camp for the following week, and the keynote I would give at the end of the trip in Tucson, Arizona.It can be discouraging to write sessions for teenagers because I’m never clear who I am talking to. Each person has a different story, a different family, a different world waiting for them after they leave the camp or conference. After an hour of staring at my monitor and coming up with nothing useful, I turned off the computer and walked across the creaky wood floor to the living room to watch TV.

I flipped through the channels and then stopped on C-SPAN, the one channel I’ve never watched for more than two minutes. I was thrilled because I caught the beginning of a speech that Cory Booker was giving to the New School in New York. Please watch the video on Fora.TV and you’ll see why I was impressed.

Mayor Booker spoke with so much clarity and resolution. I was so inspired to see an idealist like me actually out there fighting tooth and nail to bring about change. There are so many political agitators out there that do no good for our society. Under the banner of “idealism,” they complain about circumstances and blame them on an unpopular president. They incite division and hatred. But Cory Booker is a person who who finds a problems and pragmatically fights for a solution.I was so enthralled by his lecture and was so eager to start my next day that I didn’t fall asleep until after four in the morning. I just laid there in my bed, eyes wide open, staring into the stillness of the night. This was a rare moment for me, because I’ve become more and more discouraged the older I get. I get tired of “trying to make a difference” and I want to retreat to some other path in life. There are so many critics out there, and so many obstacles. I really start to wonder: what am I fighting for? Is this worth it?

Why Newark Matters

I don’t just admire Cory Booker because he’s trying to make a difference. I spend time with these types of people all day, everyday. But what is unique about Booker is that he’s chosen to turn around the city of Newark.Newark is ignored by the country because it is in utter contrast to the glowing city 11 miles west, the unofficial capital of American pride: New York. New York is the center of the worlds of finance, music, publishing, fashion, and (for what it’s worth) modeling. It’s a city marked with glamour and power.

Newark is plagued with poverty, crime, drugs and a terrible education system. It had such a bad reputation that nobody I have ever known actually went into the city of Newark, except to fly in and out of the airport. If I could summarize Newark in one word: hopeless. It epitomizes the American inner city.

I lived in am apartment in Washington Heights, a ghetto of Harlem. Throughout the days and nights, I hung out with rich, influential people in the media. But I always came back to my humble apartment in a rough part of town. As the summer progressed, I spent more time with the neighborhood kids and their moms. It was easy to meet and talk with the community because our street was a “play street” for most of the summer. Both ends of 151st Street were blocked off at Amsterdam and and Broadway to keep cars away, making room for the kids to play with their friends.

I ignored the difference in our races and talked to everyone like we all came with matching skin. I made some good friends and met some fascinating people. I also saw some terrible things: broken families, drugs, violence, generations of poverty. Although I’ll never know what it’s like to be born and raised in a ghetto, I lived there long enough to see the sharp contrast between ghetto life and the world I was raised in. Everyone faces challenges in their youth, but the children of the ghetto have a whole different reality to wake up to every morning.

Everyone 50 streets south of us had all the wealth and opportunity the world had to give. Up there in Harlem, I didn’t see any answers. I left Harlem that September wondering if there was anyone inside or outside of the ghetto cared enough to help the people suffering on its streets.

Most of what I’ve done with my life sense that summer has been with white, suburban kids. These young people have their own problems and they definitely need help. I wake up each day and do what I do, but I can’t help but feel like I’ve abandoned a whole part of our society because the obstacles were too big.

This is why I am so excited about Mayor Cory Booker. He’s someone who deeply cares about the people of Newark and is doing all that he can to help him. If his policies and community-building efforts work, then this will bring hope to inner cities across our country. I’m especially interested in the pragmatic changes he’s making to the schools, especially his work with KIPP.

Here is a summary from the KIPP website:

KIPP, the Knowledge Is Power Program, is a national network of free, open-enrollment, college-preparatory public schools in under-resourced communities throughout the United States. There are currently 57 locally-run KIPP schools in 17 states and Washington, DC, which are serving over 14,000 students. KIPP schools have been widely recognized for putting underserved students on the path to college. More than 80 percent of KIPP students are low-income and more than 90 percent are African American or Hispanic/Latino. Nationally, nearly 80 percent of KIPP alumni have matriculated to college.