Growing up on a farm, the only activity that warranted exhaustion was; a day’s work under the hot sun. Loading bails of hay into the barn, re-roofing a house, these were the things that made you tired. If you got tired from anything less than back-breaking labor, it’s boredom you are experiencing, not exhaustion.

In college, I whined with my friends that going to class was exhausting, but deep down I knew it wasn’t true. Sitting docile in a chair and scribbling letters on a sheet of paper was hardly labor intensive. Nor was going back into the studio at the end of the day to draw pictures for a few hours. That was just playing.

I’ve carried this tough-guy attitude onto airplanes with me as an adult. As exciting as flying around the country may appear, all you really do is sit and stand. You stand in lines for about forty five minutes before you can get on a plane (checking baggage, security, and when you board at the gate.) The rest of the time is spent sitting down and watching TV. It’s a tight fit, but in reality, an airplane seat isn’t much different from a Lay-Z-boy. And on an airplane, you even get a flight attendant to bring you water, peanuts, and an occasional cocktail. The only time you even have to move at all is if you have to wobble back the bathroom.

Knowing this, I storm off the airplane into the airport so I can get back to real work. After sitting and standing and doing nothing all day, it was time to get out and do something. But I’m not like that anymore. Flying one day is enough for that day. Because flying isn’t just sitting and standing—it’s gambling with your life.

The airline industry’s biggest goal is to numb people from the terrifying reality that we are floating 25,000 feet above the earth. Quite simply, humans were not meant to leave the ground. We have no way to stay alive if we fall. We can’t bounce like a little bug. We can’t absorb the blow like a furry squirrel.; No wings like a bird. If we fall from 40 feet, we’re dead. So instinctually, we know that we must avoid heights if we are to stay alive.

That’s why you freak out as a kid when you climb a tree that’s too high. And that’s maybe 20 feet. The only way we are able to leave the ground is when we are reassured that we won’t fall. Fearless rock climbers wouldn’t be climbing rocks at all if they weren’t secured with rope. Telephone company workers wouldn’t scale up and down telephone polls if they weren’t equipped with spiked shoes and harnesses. Folks on a plane won’t leave the earth unless they know it’s not much different than sitting in their own living room.

This is why people get drunk on airplanes. It’s the only way they can numb themselves from the reality that this might be there last day on earth, and that they might die with 200 strangers that don’t love them. Even if someone doesn’t knowingly get drunk out of fear of death, it’s hard to argue you’d get drunk for any other reason. A nasty cocktail is $5, and there’s no friends to enjoy it with. All things considered, an airplane is the worst place to hang out. People are sweaty, the room is stuffy, and you can’t mingle.

My flight from Phoenix to Atlanta was a few days ago was;truly scary. It was a 4-hour flight, and all but 30 minutes of it was rough. It was three and a half hours of our little plane bobbing and bouncing in the vast atmosphere. At one point, it was like our plane drove over a house. It felt like it, it sounded like it.; And in my mind, I know that there is a resurgence in terrorist plots to take down airplanes. Every other day you hear about someone trying to slip something crazy on an airplane. Or they’ll find something suspicious on a plane and divert to another airport. There is no “fun” left in flying.

So my plane lands. I’m emotionally and physically drained. That is real exhaustion.