You know it’s summer when the heat wakes you up before your alarm does.

Coming to this conference, I am able to get to know the teens that I am to serve. I know I am called to love everyone, but it is heartbreaking to pour so much into others just so they can walk out the door and serve themselves. Mother Teresa knew: people will be selfish, love them anyway.

I can pour myself into these teens with out fear of being abused. These kids are cool b/c they are leaders: mature, focused, and ready. They expect me to be man of God, not a man from the Real World. I am able to be who I am without being pestered for what I’ve been a part of. Who I am, who I am becoming, is beyond any moment I spent in front of a camera.

Each teen here is so gifted. They have so much to offer their friends, family, parish, and the world.

Since The Real World, I’ve been speaking at colleges, schools, and churches. I knew the first run of the show would wrap by Thanksgiving, then rerun here and there for another year. I knew I had to strike while the iron was hot, and reach as many teens as possible. I promised myself that I would stop speaking as soon as I became ineffective. I don’t want to be the washed up pseudo-celeb that talks about a show no one quite remembers.

With my schedule filled till 2003, I don’ t know when this will stop. I have mixed feelings about this. Part of me is–was–tired of this. The Real World is unexciting to me. But, to touch another’s life is unlike nothing in this world.

I am in awe of God. So clearly I see that this has nothing to do with me. Tonight as the the whole room fell on their knees in prayer, I looked out at the sea of hands lifted to heaven. Everyone was surrendering themselves, letting God take control of their life. I don’t think others could possibly understand what this experience was like.