I am absolutely fascinated with success. I don’t mean success as in the accumulation of material things, but success as a gauge of someone’s ability and dedication.

I was cleaning the kitchen when I overheard my roommate watching “The Apprentice”. I have made it a point not to get caught in the reality-show-of-the-moment, but I couldn’t help but be intrigued with the cast of the show. They were determined to be successful. Even though they were obnoxious bullies, I admired their relentless drive.

I’m in the first pages of Tom Wolf’s new book called, “I am Charlotte Simmons.” She is a country girl from the mountains of Western North Carolina. I was raised there, so I can identify with her journey. She gets into an Ivy League school on full scholarship. The book goes into elaborate detail about the prestige of the school, and the caliber of student that goes there. I was thrilled to be reading this. I want to be one of them!;

I like to be surrounded by excellence. I want to do what I do, and do it better than I thought I could. I am not happy with how things are going at the studio. Everything we do is based on an uninteresting concept. Nothing is spectacular. We are doing a new project now, and it’s at least exciting to look at.

I understand that I’ve written about this same subject so many times before. And again, I don’t know how God’s will works into all of this. I truly do not. I do know that I sort out my ambition in this journal almost every day. I also know I need to pray more about all of this ambition, but I haven’t started doing that yet.