So Baby Eden Jane was born three weeks ago. She’s awesome. She’s a little miracle. And she doesn’t seem happy when I hold her. That’s okay, because it makes me happy that she likes being held so close by Candyce.

Terrible, Intense

The two weeks following her birth were crazy with sickness. So we never had that blissful newborn experience in our home. Instead, it each of us got some version of stomach flu. I’ll spare the details, but it was an ugly 10 days. It was so frustrating too, because here we are at the beginning of the summer, and we’re sick like it’s the peak of the flu season in February or something. This was the most vulnerable and fragile our little family has ever felt, especially because we had a newborn baby in the house too. So much anxiety.

The first stable moment we had as a family was the last afternoon before I returned to work. We went to Bahama Breeze to get some iced drinks, and then we came home and watched a kids movie on TV. Candyce, Norah, Stella, and I all sat on the same couch sipping our cold fruity drinks. Nobody was vomiting. Nobody was crying. Everyone was happy and healthy. At last.

I’ve learned in life that if I retell a bad/sad situation over and over again, it’s because I’m still trying to heal from the trauma. I’m trying to make sense of what just happened so that I can move on in life. Most of the time you tell your story and you’re off to new adventures on a new day. But both Candyce and I have revisited that first week-and-a-half of Eden’s life countless times. We retell the each day almost in shock that it really got that bad. Only now, three weeks later, are we able to talk about something new. It’s good to feel normal.

My Mom

It was really nice to have Mom in town for the past week. This is the longest time she’s ever spent out here in Arizona. Having extra help around the house was priceless.

On the drive back from the park, I asked Mom why my life feels so hectic. In the last three months, Stella and Norah have needed so much attention. I can’t make it from one side of the room to the next without disappointing someone. I try to be as patient and compassionate as I can be, but all I have never seems enough.

She put it simply: “It’s because you have little children with a lot of needs. It won’t always be this way. And now you have a newborn too. It’s a transition and that’s never easy.” It wasn’t anything that I didn’t already know, but somehow those words coming from my mother gave me hope.

Yes, HGTV Makes Me Obsessed

Being homebound for the past several weeks has given me a rare opportunity to gorge on Home and Garden Television. If there is anything I am addicted to, it’s before and after photos of remodeled rooms, homes, and yards. My favorite show is Curb Appeal with designer John Gidding. It blows my mind how he can take an awkward or boring house and transform it into something so gorgeous.

I made many trips out of our front door to hold baby Eden and get some fresh air. I spent many moments standing still on the street in front of our house, staring at the front of our home and seeing so much potential. I bought this house at a great price six years ago largely because it lacked curb appeal. My goal was to get gangster on the house and change up its whole look. But when the Real Estate market is bombing and the planet is spiraling into a financial crisis, it’s hard to spend $20k on making your house pretty. Now the worst of the meltdown is over (hopefully), so I can again dream about making my house cool.

I think I’ve found a solution to the awkward blocky thing that’s going on: two toned-paint, plus light colored trim. This could really work. Of course I have some cosmetic work to do too: trimming out windows, changing architectural details, adding iron details to the second floor windows.