Supafly.com

Travel has been pretty intense through June and July…

• San Diego, CA (Post graduation trip with the family)
• Pittsburgh / Steubenville, Ohio (Franciscan University Youth conference)
• Kansas City / Atchison, Kansas (Benedictine College for LTLC)
• Prescott, AZ (Camp Tepeyac)
• San Diego, CA (Family Vacation)
• Hiawassee, GA (Family Visit with parents)
• Atlanta, GA (Steubenville Youth Conference)
• Tiger, GA (Family at Camp Covecrest)

I don’t know if there will be time to reflect on the experiences that I had in each of those places. I’ve got plenty of stories and cool photos, but not enough time to collect them into a blog. It’s a good thing that Candyce has a blog too.  Soon she will stack her blog with photos and sweet memories.

This recent 2-week vacation to Georgia (we got back a couple days ago) was really good for our family. I got to spend a lot of time with my daughters, with Candyce, my parents, sisters, brothers, and my grandmother. I also spent a lot of time with teenagers (2500 at Steubenville, 220 at camp) who benefit from my hard work throughout the year at Life Teen. It was encouraging.

Just for fun, I’ll be impulsive and write about whatever is on my mind. I’ve got 20 minutes before I have to go.

1. I need a haircut. We’ve been out of town so much that I couldn’t schedule in a trim with my barber here in Tempe. I told myself that I could get a haircut while out of town, but we were always having so much fun that it seemed like a waste to ruin the party by driving down the street for a haircut. I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror.
2. Oil change. Seriously, it’s been over a year since I’ve changed the oil in my car. While I was in Georgia I rented a loaded Chrysler 300. I love that car. It was fun to ride around in style.
3. Recession etc. My classmates and I felt confident back in 2009 that by the time we graduated in May 2011, the recession would have passed and the economy would be on the rebound. To a degree, we were right. However, the “rebound” is hardly a reality. I spent a lot of time with students entering college over the past few weeks, and each of them talked about how they were grateful that they could weather the recession through four years of college.
4. Sharp-dressed man. It’s hard to dress well every day. My standard attire during the work week is a pair of leather shoes, chinos, and a shirt with a collar. I’ve been doing this for about three years and it has its benefits. But the downside is that I spend a lot of time ironing pants and shirts. When I meet the girls for lunch, Norah usually wrinkles/dirties/thrashes my well-pressed attire. I take it in stride, but again, it’s hard to dress well every day.
5. ReadyMade. I learned this morning that my favorite magazine over the last 10 years is closing up shop. I think the Internet ran away with their zeal for DIY.
6. Facebook. It gets boring in the summer. Every time I login I am remarkable uninterested. For the sake of documenting technology as it happens, Google+ started a few weeks ago. It may or may not be a replacement for Facebook, LinkedIn, and SomeThing Else.
7. Rebuilding Interest. With school done, I’m trying to get up to speed with new technologies/trends/innovations/Apps.
8. Compassion. There is a lot of hurt in this world. Everyone needs compassion and love.

Well, time is up.

Saturday, May 19, 2011

This photo means so much to me. On my back is my precious Eleanor Grace. This is the little girl whose world was rocked by me leaving for two years of graduate school.

I snapped this photo early Saturday morning at REI, about twelve hours after I walked across the stage at graduation and received my diploma. We never bought the backpack, but we had a lot of fun running around the store, jumping in and out of isles. I could hear her giggling in my ear. She swooned my name with such joy.

I can’t help but be surprised how the memory of this morning almost feels nearly as sweet at the day Norah was born. There wasn’t anything particularly exciting about the morning. Candyce was hosting her ladies prayer group at our house, which meant that Dad and I needed to take Norah and spend the morning away from the home. We spent some time at the coffee shop, and then explored a mall before any of the stores were open. We finished with an exploration of REI.

It was my father, my oldest daughter, and me. No place to be, but completely happy spending time together. There was no distraction from work or graduate school. Just family. Just happiness.

So I graduated with a Master of Business Administration on Friday. It’s too early to say that I am relieved because I am still burdened by the fatigue from the final eight weeks of my degree. Every bit of this MBA thing has been difficult, but the last two months were particularly demanding. So I don’t quite feel “free” yet, but with each hour that passes I am reintroduced to the privilege of ordinary life.

One of the more subtle changes over the last two years is that I was given a new identity. I was introduced to new people, both classmates and professors. These people surrounded me for three days of each week. The newness of group wasn’t what made it so different, it was that all we had in common was the subject matters of business. These were not matters that I thrived in from the beginning. I was thrown into a pool of accounting and finance and I had to learn how to swim. Through each trimester, the classmate became friends, and the subject matter became more familiar and exciting.

So what’s next? I’ve accepted a position of VP Strategy & Communication at Life Teen. I’ve been in talks with our CEO since September of last year about the position. I’m excited to have the authority and resources to move our organization forward.

What I want out of this summer is to be with my family. It’s been a very difficult two years for all of us.

It’s been an intense month-and-a-half so far in 2011. This is the kind of real-life grit that’s too hard to process as it comes your way.

• Miscarriages. Close friends and family have had to deal with the painful reality that their unborn babies didn’t make it. I’ve been in constant prayer for these people. They’re in a lot of pain.
• Weddings. I’ve been to three weddings so far this year. Each wedding was for a beautiful couple who belongs together. So much joy at those weddings! The Garcia wedding in Atlanta was fun because I got to see family and even attended the wedding with Dad. If it weren’t for these weddings, life would’ve felt very dreary.
• Haiti. Dad spent time at an orphanage in Haiti last week with Mrs. Benzinger, a family friend. The US Embassy issued a warning to all American citizens in Haiti that there could be riots from political unrest. The warning was for a region along a road that Dad and Mrs. Benzinger would have to take to get back to the Port-au-Prince airport. Fortunately, they’re day of travel was peaceful. I prayed hard.
• Early death. In the past year, three young people have died at our church. In the last month, a precious five year old girl named Stella died in the middle of the night. She seemed to only have flu symptoms.
• Sickness. The Smith family has been sick: cough, congestion, vomiting, hives, fever. I missed most of my work last week. Then this past weekend I lost my voice and it hurt to breathe. Through it all I have to take care of my family too. Last night was the first night of good sleep that the four of us have had in two weeks.

Experiences like these really help redefine what it means to have a “great day.” I mean, if the people you love are safe and healthy, what more can you want?

And through all of this, I continue to work and go to school. My group wrote a Supply Chain paper and gave a presentation on Monday of last week. Then on Saturday I took a midterm under the daze of a fever. Last night we finished a final group project. Tomorrow night I have another final. In six days I have another. I’ll be done with B-school in 83 days.

A few months ago I did an interview I did with LifeTeen.com about what it was like to be raised in a family with foster children. Since then, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on my childhood and how it has shaped who I am today. Here’s the question that really got me:

Greg Iwinski: Now that you have two daughters of your own and you start a new branch of the Smith family, what lessons from having foster siblings do you think you will bring into raising your own kids?

ME: That’s a good question. I don’t think I have answer for that one yet. I guess just talking about all this now reveals how counter-cultural my childhood was. The rest of the world moved along just fine without knowing about our humble lives in the mountains. We were disconnected from the glamorous things of the world—trends, music, celebrity culture, professional sports, wealth, whatever. Whatever I saw on TV about what it was like to be young and have a family – my life looked nothinglike that. We were off the grid, but that doesn’t mean what happened there didn’t matter.

The Smith family in 1984

Somewhere along the way society has become consumed with appearances, and that has confused what it means to be a “happy family.” You know, the parents drive nice cars, they have a sweet house in a cool neighborhood where all the lawns are perfect… the kids are all hip and dress nice and have cool stuff. Fancy vacations. The whole deal. How uncool would life be if all we tried to do as a family was impress others? There’s no soul in that. I want my children to know that its okay to be counter cultural. And there’s nothing more counter cultural than loving like Christ loved.

I should say that my answer didn’t come out quite so composed on my first try. It was an email interview, which means I had time to reflect on the questions and then put together thoughtful answers. It was supposed to only take me thirty minutes, and it took me well over two hours. Because this was the first time that I had to consider my upbringing and then consider how I would raise my own children.

I’ve found myself marveling at the life my parents created for themselves and for us kids. This is what has stuck with me about Mom and Dad:

• Be Creative. They bought an old house with lots of land and they decided they wanted to start a farm. Then came the animals, the large garden, and the fish bait business. Dad even split his own fence posts from trees that he harvested from the woods.  How resourceful is that? Beyond the six of us little kids, they brought in teenage foster children too. We never had enough money to do all that with comfort, but we still did it. My parents were resourceful and creative.
• Be Fearless. What did my dad do? He met the girl of his dreams and they started a whole new life together. There was no hesitation here. They knew what they wanted and they did it. Dad didn’t know all he needed to know to become a farmer, and that was okay. He made his decision and he did it. My parents had little interest in sticking around their homes in the northeast to see what their friends from college were doing with their careers.
• Be Faithful. Mom and Dad called our farm New Life Farm because it was a new beginning for them, for us little kids, and for the foster children that we brought into our home. Our farm had a logo too—a dove. It was stunning. Dad even painted it onto the side of our home. (Again, I have to interrupt here. Do you know what would happen to me if I painted a logo on the side of my home today? I wouldn’t make it till sunset without our HOA having an emergency meeting.)

A big part of life is figuring out your place in the world. Why am I here? Do I matter? What makes me unique? When you are young, these questions define your life in a very obvious way. As you grown into adulthood, these questions may not be in the forefront of your mind each day, but they reside deep within each of us. I believe that most of us make decisions in life with hopes of finding answers to these questions.

Inevitably, we compare ourselves to others to get some context for who we are. If I were to be completely honest with myself, I get jealous of people who have inherited opportunities from their family: admission to an Ivy League school, the family business, the vacation home, the brownstone in NYC, the vintage Ferrari.  They have so many resources from which to draw as they create their own story on this Earth.

I have none of that, and I’m beginning to see that that’s okay. I do have a heritage of creativity, gall, and faith. Absolute individuality. I need to live and breathe this heritage. This defined my childhood and it should define my adulthood.