Supafly.com

I haven’t updated supafly.com over the last few weeks because I’ve been inundated with the busyness of life. Here’s my drama:

Thinking About Cars

I had “scheduled service” done on my car and Candyce’s car over the span of two weeks. This was unpleasant. Car owners have a complex relationship with mechanics. Mostly, it comes down to the fact that people don’t like to spend money repairing/maintaining a car they already pay for each month. (Not to mention the fact that we pay for insurance as well.) Plus we’ve all heard horror stories about how greedy mechanics scare you into doing work that doesn’t need to be done.

So when it is your turn to stand in front of the auto repair shop as the mechanic preaches about the hell and damnation waiting for the car owner who refused to be saved,  you can’t help but feel like discouraged. Why me?! Why now?! Although I understood in my head why I had to pay out $1500 to keep our cars running strong, that didn’t mean I had to like it. The only way I can make myself feel better is to imagine we avoided a massive mechanical overhaul that would cost us $5000. That’s a savings of $3500.

Restoring the Kitchen Floor

Eighteen months ago, my dad and I laid the travertine tile in the living room, dining room, and kitchen at the beginning of the massive remodel of the first floor of my home. We had to work fast so my brother could install the baseboards, door casings, and finish the kitchen island. The end result? My brother’s trim work looks great, and our grout job looked uneven and sloppy. After a year-and-a-half of living with this ugliness, I recruited my brother-in-law to help me make all things new.

We cleaned the kitchen floor with soapy scrub brushes and the shop vac. Then we did it again, and again, and again. There was a lot of dirt that had settled in the natural “craters” within the stone tile. If we left that dirt no the floor, our grout wouldn’t adhere and we’d have another problem to deal with down the road. Then we floated grout, let it dry, and then sponged off the excess. I woke up every three hours through the night to put on coats of sealer/polish. By morning, the kitchen floor was so smooth and shiny I wanted to ice skate. Next step? Fix the tile in the dining and living rooms. (See July 2009)

Robber!

I am sad to say that I was not apart of this next story because I was out of town. The location: Seattle Espresso, Tempe. The crime: robbery. A punk kid grabbed the tip jar from the counter and bolted out the door. Richard, the emo-Jesus barista, sprinted out the door and down the sidewalk. Four hundred yards later, Richard is gaining on the thief and shouts to him, “I can do this all day!”

The chase halted 100 yards later when the robber was blocked by a busy street. Now just steps away, Richard shouted a few curse words and yanked the jar from his hands and marched dutifully back to the coffee shop. Richard was greeted by a long line of confused customers. He placed the tip jar firmly where it belonged on the counter, then turned to first customer in line and started taking orders like the whole “I just chased a crook thing” never happened. What a rock star.

Mother’s Day

I wanted to treat Candyce to a tour of the Queen Creek Olive Mill because she’s addicted to olives and sometimes you just have to feed the fire. But they didn’t offer tours on Mother’s Day.

Plan B it is. Candyce, Norah, and I ran 4 miles on the Tempe Canal. What a beautiful run! Later in the morning, Candyce and Norah put on fancy dresses and sun hats and we drove downtown to have lunch at Postino Central. We hung out at Lux and then explored Haus before heading back home to Tempe.

Traveling

We made a last minute decision to hitch a ride with John out to San Diego to surprise Candyce’s family. I enjoyed lounging in the backyard and reading Do You Matter? How Great Design Will Make People Love Your Company, a book Jeff gave me for Christmas. Did I mention Life Teen had a staff retreat in Georgia earlier this month? It was fun to have our staff from around the country come together again. Plus, I got to see Mom, Dad, and Grammy. I’m excited to get back to Georgia in next week.

Now it’s time to get along with my day.

Note: What you are about to read might be boring. If you are an overachiever who enjoys reading about overachieving, then this one is for you.

The first three months of this year have been profoundly productive in both my personal life and my professional life. (I opted for “profoundly” because “extremely” and “ridiculously” are overused.) Today I will write about the profound productivity in my personal life.

This all started because Candyce and I crashed for the last two weeks of 2008 on the beaches of San Diego and the slopes of Big Bear. It was good to relax and enjoy Christmas with family. We returned home with a new year prompting us to be go-getters. We spent the first week in Phoenix explaining to each other all of the things we had to do. By the weekend, my head was spinning with the dozens of things we had to do right now. I was filled with anxiety.

In years past, I would see that there was something to do and then immediately do it. The kitchen is dirty? Clean it. What’s next–the car needs an oil change? Drive it to the shop down the street. Are my gold teeth getting dull? Polish ‘em!!!

You get the idea.

This impulsive and never-ending laboring is a sign of a young overachiever who hasn’t reckoned ambition with reality.  In high school and college, a young overachiever takes difficult classes, plays lots of sports, gets a job, and you stays involved in clubs.  I’ve learned that packing your schedule is a good thing, but it’s also a linear way to be productive. It’s good to get stuff done, but am I getting the right stuff done? Don’t confuse being busy with being productive.

Make Priorities, Save Your Life

I like to think I’ve matured into becoming an overachiever who obsesses over making priorities.  How does this look? You step away from your projects/goals/ambitions and analyze what you need to do before you do it. You recognize what projects are more important than others. Then you get realistic with your time, money, and energy. Next you spread out your projects over a realistic time frame. Then you get to work.

It’s a straight forward process, really.

Now that I am married, it’s absolutely critical that we make priorities together–because we’re both trying to get things done. If we don’t work together, our home is filled with tension and frustration. We see one another as an obstacle to accomplishing our goals.

So Candyce and I sat down at the dinner table in early January and wrote down everything that was on our mind: dentist appointments, finally mailing Christmas cards, fixing the hot water heater, childproofing the house, taking down the Christmas tree, etc. These are the obvious chores that scream at you as you walk through your day.

Some couples will make the list and then make priorities. But I strongly encourage you to write down all the things that aren’t chores or projects, but things that steal our joy: fear of high cell phone bills, or the fear that the tree in the backyard was dying and might blow over, etc.  It takes humility to be honest with yourself (and your spouse) about what is causing you anxiety in your life. Most of us have been so battered by inconsiderate people in our lives that it’s hard to be vulnerable and explain the things that frighten us, so the thought of sharing those things with someone else seems like a bad idea. But the way I see it, there are a million things out there that can steal your joy or make you an anxious person. Anxiety is a useless state of being; you feel horrible and you are paralyzed from getting things done, which creates more anxiety. It’s a vicious cycle.

So we talked through each of the joy-stealers. Candyce assured me that our cell phone plan had free picture messaging so it’s okay to send photos to her parents. I told Candyce that the tree was dying and would need to be cut down, but it’s not going to fall over this unless we get a hurricane in Arizona. After talking through the other joy-stealers, we both felt better.

Now that we had calm hearts, we looked at our list of stuff to do. (For the record, this was a big list, filling up both sides of a sheet of paper.) It was time to prioritize. Which things need to get done today? This week? What can be postponed till next month? Later in the year? We weren’t procrastinating, but we were being realistic how long projects take. This is why a newly-elected U.S. President doesn’t try to get everything done in his first 100 days. He spreads his work over a 4-year term.

After we prioritized and scheduled our chores we were new people. We looked at that long list with a sense of pride. The anxiety, fear, frustration–all gone! Sure, there was plenty of work to do, but we knew what and when and why.

Changing Priorities as Time Passes

We start each week by reviewing the list and then communicating what both of us will be working on. This list sits on our dining room table so that it’s convenient and visible for both of us. If we had a free hour or two and felt energetic, we’d look at the list and pick out out a project to work on.  And of course, we took great pride in crossing things off the list.

Over the past three months, we’ve added things to this list because life gives you more work to do.  Sometimes random things happen and you have to change your priorities. But don’t slide back into your old ways and impulsively jumping into a new project;  first add it to our list and seeing if the project is more important than the things we said we wanted to do at the beginning of the year.

So What Did I Accomplish?

If you are feeling voyeuristic, here’s a look back at the things on my half of the list.

1. Run. Run. Run. Candyce, Norah, and I have run at least three miles 3-4 times a week. Last month we ran in a 5k race and did well. This Saturday we’ll run in the Pat Tilman Run here in Tempe.
2. Made a wooden block set for my nephew Jack.
3. Got ticketed in Scottsdale for having an expired license plate. Although it was humiliating to be lit up on my way to a Bible study, the officer was a cool guy. He didn’t ticket me for speeding, just for the expired plate. I got some insider info on Charles Barkley’s arrest from a couple weeks earlier. To set my life in order, I got the car tested for emissions. Then renewed my plates. Through January and February, I went to court twice: the first to get my ticket reduced (which happened) the second to get the moving violation expunged from my record (which didn’t happened.) This was not on our list, but stuff happens and your list changes.
4. Made sense of Norah’s big fast stack hospital bills. This was HUGE. Dozens of letters had to be opened, deciphered, organized, and fact checked. And some had to be disputed.
5. Inbox Zero. The guys at the office are having fun finding creative ways to be more productive (see 42folders.com), and my favorite new technique is to purposefully check your email with the end goal being an empty inbox. From their site,
   

   “Clearly, the problem of email overload is taking a toll on all our time, productivity, and sanity, mainly because most of us lack a cohesive system for processing our messages and converting them into appropriate actions as quickly as possible.”

6. Prepared for and delivered eight talks in eight different cities–in less than three months. That’s about 15,000 miles of flying.
7. Had Candyce’s pearl earrings fixed–not the biggest chore, but what man likes to plan a trip to the jewelry store?
8. Condensed our two remote controls into one. You cannot imagine how much easier this makes my life. Fixed our Tivo (with the help of a guy on the phone) so we can record one show while watching another. Don’t accuse me of being a couch potato because you don’t know me.
9. In the kitchen crown molding, I recessed the nails with a nail set, filled in with wood filler, caulked the joints, and finished with two coats of paint.
10. Hiked Picacho Peak, Elephant Butte, and South Mountain (twice)
11. Sanded and finished my kitchen bar stools
12. Switched car insurance
13. Switched dentists
14. Banking matters
15. Hired landscape guys to maintain the yard
16. Started twittering: http://twitter.com/supaflycom
17. Kept this blog updated
18. Made major progress on a freelance web project
19. Cheered for the Phoenix Suns.
20. Cleaned my garage
21. Celebrated spring by attending about 15 picnic lunches hosted by Candyce and Norah.
22. Hosted Candyce’s family in town for Holy Week
23. Got my 1954 Chevy fired up gain, drove it around the block
24. Filed my 2008 taxes

The end result? We’re a happier couple and more satisfied with where we are in our lives. This style of planning and prioritizing will be a big part of our life together. Now it’s time to plan for the 2nd quarter.

On Sunday I made a quick but beautiful 12-hour round trip to Houston. I believe that I spent more time in the air than I did on the ground. I really need to get some books to read on these long flights. Magazines and newspapers don’t have enough substance. I can burn through an issue of This Old House Magazine in less than an hour. Then what do you do? Look at SkyMall? It’s time to mend my relationship with the local library with a big fat $20 bill to payoff my late fees.

Friday evening we traveled down to Picacho Peak in near Tucson to spend some time with Candyce’s grandparents. Our crowning achievement was climbing to the top of the mountain on Saturday morning. The wildflowers were in fool bloom. We loved it. Take a look at the photos below.

Last week a group of us attended a pre-screening of “The Human Experience” from Grassroots Films. Although I’ve already seen the film, it was exciting to see it again.

Candyce, Norah, and Matt Smith

On Saturday the Smith family ran the Faith and Family 5k at Tumbleweed Park in Chandler. It was a sunny and cool spring morning, perfect for a run. Hot air balloons lowered into the park while we were running. Norah was so overwhelmed by the action she saw from her little running stroller. Eventually she just fell asleep.

I can’t believe Norah is already six months old. Here are some photos from random places from the weekend.