Supafly.com

I’m on a quick flight from Santa Barbara back to Phoenix. I just finished a John Grisham paperback my father gave me for as a birthday present back in November of last year. I had every intention of reading it over the Thanksgiving break, but it was not possible given my workload with school.

On my dining room table I have a ten-inch stack of black binders filled with documents, notes, and assignments. Depending on which of my three classes I’m preparing for, I’ll start my day by fishing out two binders and begin working. I’m expected to master all of the knowledge about accounting, global marketing, and economics. It’s exhausting. Within two days I’ll be finished with these three subjects and I’ll have four days off until we start a new trimester.

Yesterday my sister Katie and her husband Brian have a new little baby named Jack David back in Georgia. I know that those two names will be with me for the rest of my life. Also yesterday others in my family attended a funeral in Arizona for my unborn nephew named Kolbe Michael. How do you write about these two experiences? There is such joy and pain in the hearts of people who are so close to me. I have not reconciled the juxtaposition of these two events. I’m lost in the emotions of both.

(Out the window to my right is the coast of Southern California with a few islands scattered in the distance.)

My father is now home safe after a two-week trip with Eric Martin to Haiti to help with the earthquake recovery efforts. He was deeply moved by his experience. We’ve spoken on the phone a few time since he’s returned home, but I believe the complexity of his experience cannot be communicated over the phone. I’ll be seeing him in a couple of weeks and I’m anxious to spend time with him and hear his stories.

I can’t wait to get home and be with Candyce and Norah again. It’s only been 36 hours but I miss them so much.

So last week we launched CatholicYouthMinistry.com after twelve consecutive months of hard work. To date, this is the most comprehensive website I’ve lead from napkin sketch to production. The website could’ve been built in half the time, but I wanted to include everyone at Life Teen in the project so they could offer input and get a first-hand experience of how the Web Team manages a multitude of priorities. If this were a web design and development blog, I could write for days about the victories within the project, but this is my personal blog and I’m trying to keep this from feeling like work.

But before I move on, let’s talk about the privilege of having a job. I think it’s only fair that if you are employed right now, you should stop and be thankful for what you have. Be positive in your workplace and do good work. There are many people who would love to have your “worries” in exchange for a paycheck. As my barber told me yesterday: “I complained that I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet.”

I am NOT excited to restart classes in the MBA program. I’ve needed this winter break like Wall Street needed a bailout. The high expectations of both school and work totally wore me out in the last months of 2009, and I cannot say that I’ve regained my strength. But like it or not, I have an accounting class on Wednesday.

Sometimes I get confused about how to make priorities in this messy world. I mean, right now there are countless people buried alive in the rubble in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. The earthquake has left people with so much suffering…I cannot even imagine. I got home from work yesterday and turned on the news to get a more up close look at what people were going through. The news reporter told the story of a man who lost is wife beneath a collapsed building. The husband pressed his hand against a the rubble and held his ear to a concrete slab hoping to hear her tapping below. The tapping came and went. The husband and the rescue workers prayed and dug. The segment ended with the sad reality that they had not found his wife.

The thought of losing Candyce or Norah shreds my heart. I cannot imagine the pain this guy is experiencing. At this very moment, I am sure he is still digging for his wife. Me? I am at here at Starbucks at the airport typing on my laptop. What’s my biggest problem right now? I don’t want to go to class. What’s your problem?

How am I supposed to reconcile my life of privilege with the misfortune of others?

I don’t know if there is a clear way to keep my own life moving forward while still caring for the rest of the planet. I do what I can, even if it’s not enough. …I pray for those in need. I donate money to worthy causes…I volunteer my time…I try to be a caring friend and neighbor.

I try not to get enthralled in the dazzle of the material world. Because it’s hard to be a genuine person if you are easily impressed by fortune and fame. I do try to be successful in what I do–career, education, investments–but I constantly remind myself that this too shall pass.

Ultimately, I try to be the best husband and father that I can be. If every man made their family their top priority, much of our society’s ills would wash away.

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Honestly, I am still unsettled about this. About how to make daily priorities in such a messy world. I need to pray more about this. And right now I need to finish this so I can get on my plane. Boston here I come.

Dozens of photos from our trip to San Diego…

I feel like I owe my friends and family an update on my life. Basically, the last eight weeks have been a whirlwind of challenges. I have three groups in my life who expect a lot from me: 1) Candyce and Norah 2) My team at work and 3) Professors and my team in class. There is no such thing as a lazy twenty minutes in my day. I need every waking moment to be purposeful or this whole thing unravels.

You like the idea of a challenge because it tugs on your ego’s desire to accomplish something you didn’t know you could. That’s why it is easy to get drawn into tales of others overcoming challenges. But make no mistake, when you are in the middle of a challenge, it sucks. I do keep an attitude of gratitude, but the reality is there is no romance in being pulled in three directions all day. I don’t feel like a hero or a champion. I feel tired.

I am in a rare moment of rest at the end of a busy and complicated summer. I’ll write more about why it was “complicated” when the time is right, but I can speak on the busyness…

We traveled to Atlanta + Tiger, San Diego, Tucson, and Prescott (and hopefully back to San Diego later this week.) Somewhere in there I went to Ohio for a weekend. I am infinitely thankful that Candyce and I planned out the summer back in early May, otherwise this summer would’ve felt like our lives were spinning out of control. Our planning paid off because our summer was fun and rewarding, even when you throw in the fact that Candyce and Norah have been sick…

…after several days of worsening head and sinus pain, I took Candyce to urgent care last Thursday. The doctor told us she had sinusitis. The prayers and antibiotics have combined to help her get better each day for the past five days. Norah had two bad weeks of teething that coincided with Candyce’s sickness. That meant both of my girls were in pain and sleep deprived, which ultimately meant they had no patience for one another.

I had to stop all of my projects and just try to hold our household together. I had to cook, clean, care, and coordinate. (I don’t think that it’s cute that each of those words started with a C. It just came out that way.) Thankfully they’re both feeling better now, and most of our weekend was spent trying to get our lives back in order.

Last night at Pei Wei Candyce’s aunt Stephanie declared that she could beat Candyce’s dad in an arm wrestling match. It seemed unfair to let a challenge like this go without resolution, so I used my force of personality to get two adults to clear plates off the table to make room for the main event. Big John Stud pinned her to the table in a matter of seconds. Next match up? Big John Stud v. Johnny Jr.–tied. At this point I realized John was tired and therefore easier to conquer. I figured I’d impress Candyce and challenged the Grizzly to go knuckle to knuckle. John pinned me with both his left and right arms. He’s just that strong. We spent the 10 minute ride home challenging John to increase his fame by arm wrestling random people we know. It was an oddly satisfying end to the Sabbath.