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A couple weeks ago I celebrated my 30th birthday in San Diego. Candyce and I left Norah in the care of Grandmother and three aunts and we headed to downtown to enjoy a night in the city. We had dinner at Café Chloe, a charming French restaurant in the East Village. After exploring downtown arm-in-arm, we drove to Little Italy to have espresso. It was a cold and foggy night and we seemed like the only couple on the street. We enjoyed the solitude–the city was our own.

Shortly after Candyce and I got back into Phoenix, my mom, dad, and grandmother arrived in town. They enjoyed meeting their new grand daughter. We had a great time hanging out over the long weekend. (As usual, Dad helped me finish some odd jobs around the house: repaired tiles on the step, finished wiring hallway light switch, and patched a drywall hole in the wall.)

Now I am in the White Mountains of eastern Arizona for my “official” 30th birthday celebration. I feel like joining a new decade of life warrants a reflection on the previous decade. It would take too long to write something profound and life-changing for a reader, but I have too much going on to do something that noble. So instead I’ll just record the random thoughts spinning in my head in the two weeks since I turned 30:

1. I refuse to complain about aging because it is in poor taste.
There’s nothing more pathetic than claiming that 30 is the new 20. It sounds absurd and foolish, because trying to live in someone else’s decade is just that—absurd and foolish. It smells of insecurity. Act your own age.

Don’t misunderstand me: if you are 50 and you feel as optimistic, energetic, and passionate as when you were 20, that’s fine. Good for you. I hope to be just like you some day! But I’m not going to assemble a lifestyle so that a stranger would assume I am younger than I actually am. I’m 30 and proud of it. Afterall, someone around here have to act like a grown up.

2. Humor is a gift.
Like most gifts, humor can be misused. Don’t use your humor to tear other people down. Negative humor like sarcasm causes distrust which will make you lose friends. If you can be funny and positive at the same time, you’ll be a happier person and you’ll make more friends.

3. Fame was very good to me.
I was able to travel the world and help people. If you find yourself famous some day, I encourage you to do the same. Fame, like most things in life, is temporary. (Very few people will live and die famous.) You will have every chance to use your fame to delight in the pleasures of the world, but you soon the spotlight will pass and you’ll be left to reconcile who you were when the world was watching.

4. Diversify your investment portfolio.
No really. Do it. If you are afraid to pull your money out of market because the returns are so dazzling, then you are probably in a bubble.

5. Everyone needs compassion.
Here’s the deal: we all have flaws. That’s right, all of us. And which one of us doesn’t need more compassion? Try not to judge others. It is impossible to judge someone one and love them at the same time. I’ve tried, and believe me, it doesn’t work that way. If someone is being aggressive or spiteful towards me, I learned to first greet them with compassion. Compassion has a unique ability to disarm hostility.

6. I have no tolerance for arrogant people.
Arrogance is a tool for an insecure person to become the center of attention, surrounded by other insecure people who need their approval. There is nothing fun or life-giving in those circles of friends. What is ironic about arrogance is that anyone can be arrogant. Anyone! There are no requirements for success, charm, intelligence, or life experience. You just have to wake up one day and decide that you are better than everyone else and start to treat others poorly. If you choose to be arrogant, we won’t be hanging out together.

7. It’s good to be a fan.
Following a sports team adds richness to you life. It connects you to your city and to other people. Becoming a fan of the Phoenix Suns has given me countless good parties with good people watching a good team. What more could you want? Just be sure to “diversify” your sports portfolio so you aren’t disheartened when your one-and-only team doesn’t win the championship. Cheer for several teams and you’re guaranteed an occasion to celebrate each year.

8. Tattoos last forever.
Your taste will change over the years, and you want to have a tattoo that you can be proud of in each decade of your life. I have found little evidence that your interests in high school and college are worth commemorating in a tattoo. There’s no shame in waiting till later in life to get a tattoo. If after much thought you’re positive that you want to get a tattoo, save up a lot of money so you can hire a talented tattoo artist. This is a piece of artwork that you will keep for a lifetime, so it’s worth getting the best.

9. Very few people today seek truth.
People are very proud of their opinions and they will share them often, even if they don’t know what they are talking about. You get a high when you share an opinion. You feel important, smart, and powerful all at once. I have not met many people who have enough fortitude to slow down and learn about an issue before they form an opinion.

What makes things worse is that people often adopt opinions for no other reason than because it’s a popular opinion. Now you’re not just one person who feels important, smart, and powerful, but a member of a crowd that is important, smart, and powerful. We are a gregarious species. I can’t imagine we’re going to progress as a society if our discourse is a popularity contest and not a means by which we uncover truth.

10. I love Candyce.
I didn’t think I would wait so long before I got married, but I am glad that I was patient and waiting for the right one. Candyce is beautiful friend that I am very happy to spend my life with. What could be better than going on a date everyday? I cannot understand why people complain about their spouses. I mean, aren’t you the one that chose to marry that person?

11. I love being a father.
A guy cannot understand himself fully until he becomes a father. Males have traits that are not appreciated in the life of a single 20-something. But as you hold your newborn baby, those traits rise to the surface, and you become twice the man you were the day before. It’s an exhilarating transition.

Ian Plimer, Professor of Mining Geology at the University of Adelaide, argues that most atheists are in no position to attack religion if they support environmentalism, which he claims is becoming an almost cult-like religion of its own. It’s hard to argue with Mr. Plimer’s clear thinking. (Hint: If the video below does not load, watch it from fora.tv)

One week after Obama won the US Presidential Election, and the world anticipates great things. But is greatness possible?

First things first. This is a non-partisan blog entry. None of what you’ll read below is recycled fodder from political blogs. Nor is it an emotional response to the election results. This more of a personal reflection of an American citizen offering insight as our country as Obama prepares to back up his U-haul to the back door of the White House. If you need proof of how detached I was from this election, read on. If you take my word for it and want to read what I came here to write about, skip down to Reality Bites.

….

Friends will tell you that I am a man of conviction. So they’ve been surprised that I’ve been intellectually curious yet emotionally disconnected in the months leading up to the election. This is how I explain the contradiction:

1. Life Got Busy. When candidates made their first stops on the campaign trail two years ago, I was preparing to be married. Soon after I tied the knot, I began a massive 12-month house remodel that I completed one week before the birth of Norah. As Senators McCain and Obama were lapping the country over the past month and a half, Candyce I were making trips to the pediatrician with our newborn. Through the ordeals of life I tried to stayed educated on the presidential race, but there wasn’t enough energy at the end of the day to become emotionally engaged.
2. I’m tired of meaningless brawls about political issues. One of best things to hit TV this decade is Discover Channel’s epic documentary series Planet Earth. One thing I’ve found from watching the series is that male mammals have an instinctual desire for battling other males. This is not a death match, but a routine show of aggression that wins the attention of females. It’s an exercise that also prepares the male to eventually defend his offspring.

   When young men debate politics, all I hear the bucking of heads, the hollow clank of locking of horns. More often than not, young political debaters have no end goal other than to be admired as an academic athlete in a public debate. I was once one of these young bucks, but I don’t have time to lock horns with someone who isn’t interested in a serious and open-minded discussion about public policy.

The election is over and so are the debates. Now we are given a couple months where every citizen can take a deep breathe and figure out what our nation will look like under the leadership of a new man. Some are hopeful, others are skeptical. Let me explain why I am somewhere in between.

Reality Bites

When a newly elected politician arrives in office, voters should expect a symbolic action to mark that “change has arrived.”

Take for instance two years ago when Democrats grabbed the Senate and promised 100 bills in 100 days. Or was it 40 bills in 40 days? Does anyone remember? Seriously, when was the last time you heard someone talking about those glory days?

What I do know is that it’s been almost two years since that remarkable Democratic takeover in Washington, and the blue Senate has lower approval ratings than Republican President George W. Bush. How is this possible? Did the Democrats forget what their heroic debut on Washington and abandon their promises to voters?

Perhaps, but more likely they’re time is occupied with new and difficult problems they must solve on behalf of their constituency. The real work of a politician rarely wins applause from the public.

Barack Obama will arrive in office as in icon/celebrity/hero, and will quickly be needed to manage the epic banking crisis that’s rocked the planet over the past two months.This financial meltdown and subsequent government bailout happened so fast that none of us have had time to step back and see what this colossus actually looks like.

Emotions will run high as voters see its split personality: friendly giant and reckless monster. It doesn’t matter if the source of the problem is complex and many are to blame, it will always be the current leaders who are held accountable. As our chief executive, Obama will have a lot of explaining to do.

Let’s not forget that the War on Terror must continue. In the months after 9/11, a political commenter on NPR explained that President Bush would probably be an unpopular president because of the fickle nature of the American people. If the United States were attacked a second time by terrorists, then Bush would go down as a coward who was unable to muster the aggression and certitude needed to defeat the enemy.

However, if President Bush were successful and prevented acts of terror on our soil during his administration, the voters would become comfortable and indifferent towards terror in the same way we were back in the 1990s. Any act of the president in the name of the War on Terror would seem overzealous and uncalled for.

How’s that for prophecy?

President Obama will assume his role as the commander-in-chief. Like it or not, he will inherit complex foreign policy problems that can not be easily remedied. If you withdraw from Iraq too early, then you will leave the nation in chaos and vulnerable to the aggression of terrorists or neighboring Iran. Although keeping troops in Iraq may be unpopular with voters who bleed blue, it may be President Obama’s only option.

Tag, You’re It

During the Clinton administration during the 1990s, Republican voters blamed problems on Democratic Party. For the last eight years under the Bush administration, Democrats blamed our nation’s problems on the Republican party. Now that the Democrats have control of Washington, it’s the Republican voters’ turn to blame problems on Democrats.

Do you see how this game works? For the young Democrats who’ve graduated college during the Bush administration, you better get tough real fast because blame is coming your way.

The hope and exhilaration that precedes Obama’s administration will soon be deflated by the messy game of politics.

On a side note, the blame game can make some men into powerful icons of reason. When your party is out of office, complaining and playing know-it-all through the media can be a very good for your career.

This is why conservative pundit Rush Limbaugh thrived in during the Clinton administration, and characters like Michael Moore and Jon Stewart thrived during the Bush administration.

Good for times for ideological foes:
President Bill Clinton and right-wing pundit Rush Limbaugh

Good for times for ideological foes:
President George W. Bush and left-wing film maker Michael Moore

Good for times for ideological foes:
President George W. Bush and comedian critic Jon Stewart

If I were a betting man, I’d bet that Jon Stewart’s Daily Show will lose viewers steadily until Republicans gain control of the House or the Senate.

Summary: Wait and See

Some people will argue that this game of tag is over because Obama is a revolutionary figure that can re-invent Washington.

Unfortunately, precedent won’t give much reason for optimism. In my lifetime, every new president has arrived in office under the banner of “it’s time for a change”, and soon they’re just another president slowed by the inefficiencies of our trademark checks and balances system. More often than not, the once-heroic candidate becomes synonymous with bureaucratic Washington.

Time will tell.

President Obama will have my prayers and support.

I took this week off from work to spend time with our newborn, which has afforded me a chance to follow the financial news skipping across my television and computer screens. I won’t pretend to know everything that happened on Wall Street this week, but one thing is for sure: we’re in a new chapter in the history of America’s financial markets.

The Masters of the Universe who called the shots  at Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, and Bear Stearns are not as divine as they had people believe.

We’ll see how this plays out.

It’s time to write about the subplots of my life in 2008…

1. I love being married. Candyce is the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. It’s a privilege to spend every day with her.

2. I wake up early. Since Candyce graduated college twelve months ago, her daily routine involves working at the coffee shop in the mornings and freelance graphic design in the afternoon. In late December we found out we were going to have a baby, which meant that a lot would change (for the better, of course.) One of the first changes was that Candyce can’t lift heavy things like the patio furniture and umbrellas in front of the coffee shop. So every morning since January 1st, I’ve gotten up at 5:30 AM and I am out the door by 5:45 AM. I enjoy the cool mornings and like the idea of getting a head start on the day.

3. Life takes management. An ambitious person like myself will continue to seize opportunities and pile on new projects. At the moment, my ongoing projects are remodeling my home, refreshing my landscape, preparing for a baby, and charting a financial course for my family’s future. None of this will get done unless I work hard and consistently. However, you cannot have progress on multiple projects unless you stop working and assess progress.

I take one day every two weeks to sit at my dining room table and grade myself on my progress. If I am failing on any project, then I need to recognize that and change the way I am doing things. For example…

• In March I realized that the project was taking too long, devouring time and money. To get things on track, I opted not to build a computer docking station / office in a recess in the living room. Instead, I spruced up the wet bar that is already there with new paint and drawer pulls.
• In April I realized that I the remodel had slowed because I was intimidated by the electrical work that needed to be done in the kitchen. I decided to call in the help of Jason Myer–handyman extraordinaire–to coach me through the first day of wiring.
• In May, I realized that my landscape was crumbling because I was spending all of my time inside. So invited over eight friends for six hours of hard work on a Saturday morning. I called this event a “Baby Daddy Work Day.” Honestly, I hope this becomes a tradition for expectant fathers. Every guy needs a little help to get his fortress in order.

4. I don’t watch remodeling shows. Do doctors come home and watch ER? Do police officers and district attorneys unwind with an episode of Law & Order? I’ve been remodeling my house for eleven months now, and the last thing I want to do is watch someone else remodel their house. I don’t mind getting updates on real life remodeling projects from my friends, but home remodeling shows tend to be far detached from reality. (In other words, these shows make me feel bad.) Plus, the “remodeling for profit” shows stand in utter contrast to the common knowledge that the Real Estate market sucks. I wrote about this earlier in Flip This House Viewer’s Guide.

5. Breaking up with NPR. I’ve listened to National Public Radio consistently since 1998 when I was a sophomore in college. Since then, NPR has been my source for news that is not dumbed down. However, there is one consistent weak spot that frustrates me: hosts rarely challenge their guests. I’m not asking for a shouting match, but a host needs to have the confidence to challenge a guest’s research and opinions on behalf of the listeners.

The least challenged guest is the career academic who just wrote a book and is therefore ready to deliver his well-rehearsed opinions. If left unchallenged, he can (and always will) run his mouth about contentious social and cultural issues for ten minutes straight.

On a side note, I am always amused how the non-fiction books featured on NPR have the same rhythm to their titles. These are not the mysterious and succinct titles of fiction novels. No. The modern non-fiction titles are so wordy that they often warrant multiple punctuation marks. The length seems to be critical to the success of the book, because they leave no doubt as to what they’re writing about or who they are writing for. Nine times out of ten, the books featured on NPR appeal to someone’s intellectual vanity as well as their insecurity as a citizen in a world superpower. After a few minutes of searching online, I found some examples:

1. Why We Hate Us: American Discontent in the New Millennium by Dick Meyer
2. Traffic: Why We Drive the Way We Do (and What It Says about Us) by Tom Vanderbilt
3. Beyond Tolerance: Searching for Interfaith Understanding in America by Gustav Niebuhr

I am not well-read enough to give an informed opinion about the evolution of book titling, but it’s clear that you don’t have to look far to know that trends are trends, and no segment of pop culture can escape the desire to be cool. Trends are as rampant on NPR (my preset station #1) as they are on Power 98.3 (the hip hop station, preset #2.)

Right now on Power 98.3 everyone is little: Lil John, Lil Scrappy, Lil Wayne, Lil Mamma, Lil Flip. I searched for entertainers with the word “lil” in their name, and I found 513. If you were a rapper in the early 1990s, it was good to be the master of ceremonies: MC Hammer, Young MC, MC Lyte.

Personally, I’m rooting for the rappers and R&B singers who buck the trend and keep their birth names: Chris Brown, Jim Jones, Mike Jones. Why? My name is Matt Smith.

6. We do not drive far. In my thirteen years of driving, I’ve never witnessed such a drastic increase in gasoline prices. Over the course of four weeks at the beginning of the summer, gas prices increase from somewhere in the $2.90 per gallon to $4.25 per gallon.

As of this morning in mid August, gas prices of fallen about fifty cents per gallon to $3.75 since from the high a couple months ago. I snapped this photo on my phone on a particularly painful day at the pump:

Gas prices suck.

Candyce and I decided to change our lifestyles to cope with the higher prices at the pump.

1. We combine errands. We make lists of places that we each need to go to, and then we plan our trips around town together. It’s actually a lot of fun. Errands aren’t as cumbersome when you’re cruising around town with your girlfriend listening to music.
2. We don’t drive far away from home. This is fine with me, because I moved to leafy green South Tempe because it is so pretty and close to fun stuff.
   
3. We carpool with friends. I’ve always been an advocate for carpooling, but it doesn’t work unless you find someone who shares your conviction. Since everyone is feeling the pain, it’s easy to plan a night out with your friends using a single car

Every barista at the coffee shop has given up their cars altogether and now ride their bikes to work. Keep in mind…it’s summer in Phoenix, and it’s not comfortable to ride a bike under the sun. It’s cool though…the streets are more friendly when people are zipping around on bicycles.