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I just bought two pairs of Ice Cream sneakers on sale for $20. I’m too old for these shoes, and they are normally too expensive for my budget. But come on? How often can you buy a pair of cool shoes for $20? So I did it. The picture below gives you an idea of what’s now on my feet.

Wearing these shoes for the past week have made me happy. FINALLY I can be outrageous and impulsive all at the same time. And–this is the best part–there is no financial ruin waiting for me. If I were to continue the impulse buying after I bought my shoes, I’d go out and buy a Chevy Caprice Wagon from some guy in the desert and then make it awesome:

1. Airbags, 22 inch rims
2. Shaved door handles, antenna
3. Filled roof rack grooves
4. Impala SS grill, sideview mirrors
5. Ragtop roof.

I’ve always thought these cars would be cool to customize, and spending time out here by the beach just confirms this. There are several slammed woody wagons around town that always turn heads. Here’s some photos I’ve found of the best looking Caprice wagons online.

Nice rims, paint, and Impala SS grill. But I don’t like the stock side-view mirrors.

Once the side trim is stripped, you can see the smooth lines of the sheet metal. You can’t beat that ride height either. Slammed.

The rims belong on another car, but the woody flames are tight. Notice that everything is shaved.

Nice lines, clean paint, and sweet Impala SS grill and badges. But the best part is the ragtop. Imagine sliding that back on a sunny summer afternoon.

Clean.

Why I Won’t Do It

I’m obsessive about resale values of anything I buy. This lifestyle really wears me down, I admit. But I have to remind myself that I am successful mostly because I’ve made wise purchases and investments. I’m basically playing my cards right so I can hit a ripe time in life where I can buy things that fit my style. Right now I have to make sure almost everything in my house is a neutral color because it’s the easiest house to sell (whenever that time comes.) Classy stone tile floors are beautiful, and I like them. But my real desire is to illustrate the first level of Super Mario Brothers with mosaic tiles. But who’ll buy that house? I’m saving that for later. For now, it’s all about resale obsession.

The root of my resale-obsession began in 2001 when I bought PT Cruiser for $17,700 shortly after they came out. That was a good price, $4000 under any new or used other PT I could find. Over the course of those 24 months, Chrysler flooded the market by systematically lowering the prices until they eventually became their entry-level small car. I knew it was time to get rid of it, and I ended up selling it for $10,000. That was a $7,700 loss in two years. Let’s do the math:

$17,700 – $10,000 = $7,700 loss

$7,700 loss / (365 days * 2 years) = $10.55 decrease per day.

That’s a $10.55 depreciation every day. It’s like owning stock in a really bad company. But both of the cars I own now are super-stable investments. My custom, chopped ’54 Chevy Bel Air is an easy sale, and it’s not dropping in price a bit. If anything, it’s going up. My daily driver is Honda Element, which I’ve owned for almost 2 years. What’s insane about that is that I haven’t seen a used Element advertised for any less than I paid for mine. So essentially, it’s lost no value. Score!

As an added bonus, the Element has 0 maintenance, and it’s utility allows me to do work around the house, all the while saving me the gas money I’d have spent if I bought a truck. I realize at this time I sound like a salesman for Honda, and I’m okay with that. Money saved is…well, it’s money that stays in my pocket.

I can’t believe it’s 2007 and my affection for the Caprice wagon is immovable. When I was 13 back in 1991, my Uncle John used to drive his family up to the mountains in his woody Caprice. The wood was cool if it were on a surf wagon from the 1940s, but it didn’t seem right on this modern car.

I detested the site of it parked in our driveway. In hindsight, I hated his station wagon for the same reason I hated anchovies and meat loaf—because people made fun of them on TV shows.