I am sitting at my favorite coffee shop in the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport. It’s the Caribou Coffee in between Concourse F and Concourse G. As desperately as I want to be home, I have to be thankful for these quiet moments along my journey. I never imagined when I first came to this Caribou in the year 2000 that I’d be sitting her five years later. This is probably my tenth visit to this same table, typing on this same computer.

A lot of people would look at the last five years of my life and be impressed with what I’ve accomplished. I’ve been on two MTV reality shows, each reaching more than twenty million viewers. I graduated from a top school with highest honors. I’ve traveled around the country to over 250 places, speaking to 250,000 young people. I’ve spent three years designing a huge website from the ground up, pulling together countless bright minds to contribute their time and talent. The website reaches a remarkable number of young people every hour. I have a nice house in a nice neighborhood. Although I am thankful for where I am, I am not content.

I am a student of success. I want to know what it is that makes them tick. What has driven them to the top? I want to know where beautiful ideas come from. I want to know why one magazine succeeds and another does not.

I was hoping that once the new lifeteen.com launched, I could relax and be at peace with my life. But no, none of that has happened. Although I am deeply thankful to God for being faithful and allowing this site to go up, I am not happy with where it is. We desperately need to hire a qualified full-time web developer. I need someone’s help to help maintain this huge site. Plus, there are so many more websites that we need to build.

I cannot be distracted by tomorrow’s dreams when yesterday’s dreams have come alive today. I need to stay focused on lifeteen.com. Nothing is more valuable on a website than quality content delivered consistently.

I know that Jesus taught we should be meek and humble, and I’m still trying to figure out what that means. I know that today you have to muscle your way through this competitive world of idealogies. I believe in the healing power of the Gospel, and all around me I see suffering. The message is not getting out. This bothers me.