Supafly.com

Yesterday was a difficult day for me. I got word that my friends Charlie and Ali lost their infant daughter Cate because of complications after heart surgery. This was very hard news for me and Candyce to take. We both cried together in the kitchen.

Compassion is a mysterious gift that ties people together. Last week, Charlie wrote in his blog that when he woke up in the hospital room and looked out over the city and watched cars scurrying through the streets as people move on with their lives, unaware of the pain and uncertainty that consumed his life.

It seemed like I would be a bad friend to Charlie by writing about something as trivial as cars, music, or stuff about remodeling a house. Whenever I got the urge to write, I instead clicked over their blog to get updates. What started out as a sign of solidarity became something I never would’ve predicted. My heart became heavier each day, and I continued to check for updates on their blog I needed them to comfort me through all of this. Its seems ridiculous and backwards, I know.

This morning was the first update since Baby Cate passed way. You should read the whole thing yourself, but here are some thoughts that Charlie shared that meant a lot to me:

About priorities…

You know, we always have enjoyed our children, we make it a priority of our family, but with Cate’s passing, there is even a more renewed sense of the day to day. To literally slow down, to listen when they talk, to play paper dolls, and to shoot spider man webs all over the room. And so that is what we did, we enjoyed the beautiful gift that God has given to us, what we call our family.

About hope…

We have learned that hope is not based on a certain outcome. That hope is what gets us through everything. Just because the prayers of many were not answer in the particular way, that we thought they should be, doesn’t mean that WE, all of us, should give up HOPE.

About solidarity…

We love you all so much and thank you for journeying with us, and running this marathon. The race is over, and Cate was victorious. We all win that way. We do ask that you remain, Hope Filled, with us as we stand together, plus many, minus one.

I got word from my friend Darla Hickman that young Cate Cantrell died yesterday in the hospital. Thank you all for the prayers and support that you’ve offered to her family.

My friends Charlie and Ali are experiencing a lot of pain right now. Their infant daughter is having her heart worked on. Charlie and I are the same age and have known each other for several years. He’s one of the most likable and funny people that I know. And since I’m going to have a daughter in not too long, I’ve followed their experience with more intensity and compassion.

This is what he wrote at five this morning:

As a parent, you just want to see you child smile, you want to hold your child, you want to smell their sweet breath on your face, and you can’t, and you don’t know when you will be able to again and the possibility is more prevalent than ever that you might not, don’t mistake that as a loss of hope, understand it as when you are face to face with losing a child, it is a horrifying experience, one that I hope you never have to experience, and if you have you understand.

I am asking all of my friends and family who visit this site to pray for Charlie, Ali, and their baby Cate. These are fantastic people who’ve given much to the world. They are suffering and they need our prayers. Even if you are a stranger who just randomly came upon this site, and you have know idea who Charlie is, I’m asking you to pray too. There are people who’ve prayed for you in the past and you never knew about it. We owe it to one another. We’re all in this together. We have to help each other however we can.

If you can, leave a word of encouragement on their blog: http://catecantrell.blogspot.com

Today is my first Father’s Day. Although our baby girl isn’t born yet, I absolutely know I am a dad. It’s a complicated emotion to explain in something as crude as a blog, but those of you who are fathers know exactly what I am talking about. I love it.

I am writing this from lovely San Diego, California. In years past, this weekend has marked the beginning of two months of fun at the beach. But this year Candyce and I decided to stay in Phoenix to get our lives ready for the baby. It’s our first child, and we want to be sure to get this right.

I am infinitely grateful for my father’s help in remodeling my home. He drove across the country in September of last year with my brother to kick off the whole project. Then he came back again around Christmas and helped me make more progress. Then during his visit last week, Dad helped me get very close to finishing the project. There is still some minor touches to complete with lighting, the bead board ceiling, and some drywall repair, but the major work is complete. Dad’s the man. He’s such a good father.

Dad flew back to Georgia on Thursday the same time as Candyce and I came out here to San Diego. I am actually really excited to go back to Phoenix so I can admire the finished product. I actually live in a nice house now. I doubt a newborn baby will appreciate it in September, but at least there will be no dust or scary-as-hell power tool noises haunting her first months on earth. Instead, she’ll listen to Coldplay, Matt Maher, Postal Service, and maybe the PG version of Lil Wayne’s new album.

I am writing this while I watch the final day of the U.S. Open in Torry Pines. We went to Open yesterday. I imagine I’ll write more about it later this week.

I didn’t realize how many of my friends and family keep up with me through my website. I should explain why I haven’t updated my blog in the past few weeks.

1. Nice Weather - Seriously. It’s been seven months of perfect weather in Phoenix. Normally things start to heat up in May and then June hits you like a fist in the face. But here we are on the seventh day of June, and it’s still lovely outside. My friend owns auto repair shops around the city, and he explained that business always picks up when the summer heat slaps around everyone’s car. He’s the only one in town who’s praying for the heat. For the rest of us, we’re outside celebrating the extended springtime.
2. Remodeling the House - I celebrate springtime by opening up the doors and windows, cranking up the music, and working on my house. I’ve regained hope with my remodeling projects because I’m actually getting close to finishing! It’s a rare experience to come downstairs in the morning and look around with excitement.
3. Visitors - School’s out for summer! (Read it again, butt sing it like a song.) That means everyone is antsy to get out and travel. Candyce and I are hosting three groups this week.

So that’s the story. I’ll be back later.