I watched the first teaser show for the RW/RR Challenge last night. I had just found out my friend committed suicide yesterday afternoon, so the show didn’t seem that important.

They had to pack 28 people into 22 minutes, so each cast member only got 20 seconds of introduction. The editors have a month of footage to chose from to slice that 20 seconds together. Having lost my friend yesterday, I was thankful that they had shown me as someone of substance.

A lot of people will watch this show, a lot of people won’t. I know in a year, television will have buried the show with thousands of hours of more nonsense. There will be another Challenge and another Real World. But still, there is a chance to somehow effect millions of lives through those few weeks we filmed in Colorado.

I feel like hell.