The Real World New York is on and I am sitting in my sister’s apartment in Reno, Nevada. It’s funny b/c I live in NY, I’ve been on the RW, and I’ve met all the NY kids…so the surreal factor is high. It is difficult for me to watch the show and not interject something every few seconds about the reality of editing, cast playing to the camera, and manipulation. I am not pissy, just happily educated and entertained.

I remember this time last year was so odd/cool. I would watch MTV like I always had…I would listen to the groovy 10spot previews and see my face and hear my voice. Nothing can prepare you for seeing yourself in the MTV picture frame. The RW was my life with six strangers pushed through the editing room filter. What you get is juiced-up family video that everyone in the world can watch.

(Rachel is cute.)

Stepping back now and watching this show, I see how the plots are so high-schoolish. I knew it, but now I KNOW it. It is young people learning how to express their emotions, deal with differences, and define who they are amidst a group. People with new found or contrived confidence proudly gain importance by expressing their emotions. You don’t see educated adults telling each other like it is while their peers cheer them on. This hit me at the Real World 10-Year Reunion, when Kevin (RW1) yelled something at Puck. The cute black girl from RW Miami reminded Kevin, “you’re too old to be talking like that.”

–As if the guys in the club don’t know “that girl” is on the RW and he gets on TV when he talks to her.–

So this is the last day of my vacation. I’ve enjoyed playing with the baby, tinkering w/ my new computer, and visiting with my sister and her hubby. It is cool just to hang around a home. In NY I never stay in my apt for more than 12 hrs. Maybe it’s because so much is going on around town, or my apt is not quite my home. Either way, I am out of my apt as much as I am in it. But here I have been lounging around, napping, eating otter pops, checking my email, and reading about cool stuff online.

–”Undressed” is so sick. It is such a mockery of teen sexuality, but the teens eat it up and replicate it. It’s kind of like teens being fans of 2ge+her, a boy band made to make fun of boy bands.–

Rachel has a cute personality.

I’ve been watching MTV for an hour now. It is the first hour I’ve watched in several months now. I can see so many young people watching, entertained and left empty. They see these shows and videos and glam and rock-n-roll lifestyle. ..and this show “Becoming” solidifies people’s longing to live that life. A few lucky kids get to be their favorite star in a video. The kids at home turn off the TV because it is late and their eyelids are heavy. The room fades to dark, the humming fridge and the AC making the only sound. They slide into their sheets wondering “why can’t I live like that?”

Now that I think of it, people like Britney Spears, Limp Bizkit, and the Backstreet Boys don’t live lives like that. It’s not like Britney walks down the halls of her own house with dancers behind her. Destiny’s Child don’t have their living room coordinate with their outfits. J-Lo has to take Pepto sometimes. On this show, they don’t make the kid deal with a messed up girlfriend before he goes on the set. The kid doesn’t have to wonder how he’s going to deal with his manager when he gets a new one. The girl doesn’t have to delete half of her messages on her cell phone because she doesn’t even know who the people are. (This girl is crying now because it was the best day of her life, being Britney Spears.)

…you’ve just got to get out their and make it happen. I am not talking about becoming a rock star (though you can), but just making your own life happen. I’ve had fun lounging around here in Reno, but I am ready for life in NY again. This was a time to recharge my batteries, now it is time to get goin’ in life.